Crazy Cantwells

Our Family

2012-02-08T06:32:00.000-08:00

And so...the chaos of life continues! On Friday, November 18th at 12:35 am our newest addition was born! Cassie Brooke Elizabeth Cantwell came quickly into this chaotic family! I was shocked when she came out in 3 pushes. That was simply crazy to me...and as I lay on the bed...legs shaking uncontrollably...they weighed her and I said, "WHAT! Are you sure?" She was 6lbs. 11 oz...the smallest of our children!

That day seems like it happened so long ago now. It's funny how the mind works sometimes. Now Cassie is almost 12 weeks old. We've had one hospital stay when she was 8 weeks old, with RSV, and now I've been quite paranoid. I'm usually a fairly calm mama. I don't stress when my kids get sick. I simply take care of it. But having her in the hospital really threw me for a loop. It was nerve wracking for a little bit.

That experience has made me so thankful for our health.

I feel like Kuzco in the Emperor's New Groove...someone threw off my groove...they could be thrown out the window! It was similar to coming home with a new baby...just threw me off. And now it's been almost four weeks and I'm still trying to get things back in order. I look forward to the day when I can keep my house clean again, but I also know how very important it is to enjoy these early moments because they fly by so quickly. I spend a lot of my time sitting in my comfy chair nursing Cassie and holding Alyssa. The dishes can wait...they'll always be there. The laundry can overflow...there will always be laundry to do. The toys can clutter the floor...they can be pushed out of the way. The socks can be scattered all over the family room floor...they aren't hurting anyone...though they can be quite stinky. As long as the children are fed and happy and a spirit of peace fills the walls of my home, I can be content.

And after a long, exhausting day, I can look back and see that we are so blessed! What an amazing blessing for our family to grow!

I'm a proud Mama!

2011-11-10T11:40:00.000-08:00

TJ came home from school with a writing assignment that he got a A+ on. I sat to read it, and was pleasantly surprised! He has never written anything like this before. How fun to see the growth and talents of a child! Here is what he wrote:

5 Slow Minutes

It was the most miserable 5 minutes in my 13 years that I remember! That Friday had nothing wrong with it until the shredding sound of an electric guitar started playing, a prism started dancing in my pocket, and a bead of sweat racing across my cheek. I knew I was standing on a mousetrap coming to snap me to the ground.

She looked over to me, as Mrs. Tobar always finds out about who did what in class. She took her choice of steps carefully towards me as if she were a lion stalking its prey, I thought to myself, sweating like a beast, yet the skin was colder than the frostbitten winters!

Once she was done stalking over, she put out her claw to reach for the source of the music. I took out the prism, handed it to her, and watched it fade away into her desk. 2:50! I left school without a phone.

I love to write and it's very exciting to read the work of my own son as he learns the skill of using words. Very exciting indeed! I can't wait to read other pieces he comes up with.

Children

2011-11-06T09:18:00.001-08:00

I was more than pleased, when, at this last General Conference, a talk was given on the topic of children. Having as many children as we do, can cause quite a stir when going out into public. You can watch as people start counting the crew we have in tow. Their eyes grow wide and usually a comment is made such as this, "WOW! You've got your hands full!" Do ya really think so, I think sarcastically to myself as I plaster a smile on my face and say, "Yes we do!" At times my response is genuine and at others I'm simply frustrated and disgusted with people. That's when I hear in my head a quote from a comedian, "Here's your sign!" Of course it's hard to have a large family, but the blessings far outweigh the negatives!

In a world where so many people either choose not to have children, have only 2 or 3, or can not have children of their own, we are scrutinized. I receive varying responses from so many. Ones who so desperately want to have children of their own,smile and tell me how lucky I am. And they are correct. I am so very blessed! Those who have asked..."What made you keep having more after 3?" make me want to smack them for being so judgmental. But I refrain and try to remember that they simply don't understand.

Since when did it become another's right to judge a person/family for their choices? That's where this conference talk comes in. It brought me peace and comfort and reminded me that what I am doing is good and right, no matter what anyone else says or does.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng

Having children is a personal choice. If your choice is to not have children, that is your right. If you choose to have 10 children, that, again, is your right. Either way, shouldn't we all focus more on loving people for who they are rather than picking them apart and telling them what we think they are doing wrong with their lives?
Our Father in Heaven loves each of us. He wants us each to be happy. And he wants us to love one another.

Each day, I will try to do even better at keeping my thoughts/comments in check. If I don't want to be judged, then I should not judge unrighteously either.

May we all try to love one another more and become more like the Savior each day!

General Conference!

2011-10-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

I look forward to this time of year with excitement and with the hope that I will learn what the Lord wants me to learn from General Conference. I missed the first part of the first sessions today, but caught the second half. I am always amazed, though I shouldn't be, at how the messages speak directly to my soul, to the things that I need to hear and know. I love listening to Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He always seems to be blessed to say just the right things for me. I am so thankful for a modern day Prophet and Apostles who listen to the promptings of the spirit and teach us those things we need to know. What a marvelous blessing in our lives. Especially as we are surrounded, in this world, by so much that is not good and right.

So, after I ate and sorted my garage sale finds from this morning, I came back to the computer, in hopes that I would be able to listen to the first half of the morning session. Thanks to byutv.org, I got my wish!

Richard G. Scott spoke and oh what a wonderful message. He talked of the importance of scriptures and the divinity of the Book of Mormon. His message strengthened my testimony so much. My determination to make reading the scriptures a part of my daily life is strengthened. I read now, but sometimes it's very sporadic. I want to do better, be better and understand more.

Of course, listening to the Prophet of the Lord can't compare to anything else. It's wonderful. President Monson is such a great example of a good sense of humor. I love it when he speaks! The announcement of more temples that will be built reconfirms my knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel. It is rolling forward! And blessing the lives of so many.

I love conference! I invite you to watch it. Go to lds.org or byutv.org to watch the sessions.

Only 8 1/2 weeks left!

2011-09-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

Only 8 1/2 weeks left to go until my due date! It feels as though the time is going by so quickly and yet so slowly...at the same time. So strange! The girls' bedroom is painted, the crib is set up, the dresser is full of clothing, the car seat is waiting for it's occupant, the bouncy seat is bright and clean. The name is picked out...Cassie Brooke Elizabeth Cantwell.

The only thing I need to find is a used infant swing. I keep telling myself that I have PLENTY of time...but time keeps slipping quickly through my fingers. Before I know it I'm going to be bringing home this sweet little girl and cuddling her in my arms. I had better get ready!!

It's amazing how much more tired I have gotten with this pregnancy. It's almost as if my body hit 35 and decided that it couldn't possibly have the same kind of energy it did with previous pregnancies. I nap a lot more that I used to. I am so thankful that I have been fairly comfortable so far. Up until the last week or two I have slept fairly well and moved around pretty easily. Besides the dreaded, awful, terrible, yucky morning sickness that loves to plaque me in the beginning...this pregnancy has really gone very well. For that I am truly grateful!

My mind is reeling with the idea of having 6 children. It seems so strange! And so incomprehensible! And at the same time I know that with the help of my loving Heavenly Father, we will be able to make this work. I have a lot of faith that with His help anything is possible. I just keep telling myself ... it'll all work out and I feel at peace that it will!

Chocolate Pudding

2011-09-10T08:54:00.001-07:00

So along with pregnancy comes a whole lot of cravings. This pregnancy seems I am craving even more than I used to. I figure it's due to spending 2 1/2 years sticking to the Weight Watchers plan so that I could finally lose all the weight I have gained over the years. Now, because I can't "diet" I want EVERYTHING! Hehe! This could be a bad thing!

I am constantly looking up recipes online and baking for my family. They have asked that I don't stop baking once this baby is born. Something tells me they've missed the goodies I used to make all the time. :) I LOVE to bake...and that doesn't exactly go very well with a "life style change" like Weight Watchers.

Every couple of days the house is filled with delicious smells of chocolate chip cookies, snicker doodles, chocolate chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, no bake cookies, muffins, more cookies, and what ever else I feel like eating at the time.

Recently I decided that I really wanted some chocolate pudding but I didn't want to deal with all the artificial ingredients in the instant pudding found at the local grocery store and the all-natural products are extremely high in price. *Sigh* Therefore, I decided to search for a tasty recipe. And Hooray, I found it!

• 6 tablespoons sugar
• 4 tablespoons cornstarch (slightly heaping)
• 2 tablespoons cocoa (heaping)
• 1 pinch salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
• 2 cups milk
Directions:
-Combine all dry ingredients in a small sauce pan until all lumps are gone and blended well.
-Add milk, whisk, and place on burner turned to med/high -- stir constantly until mixture thickens and begins to boil. Set timer for 1 minute and continue to stir.
-Remove from heat and add vanilla, stir well. Let sit for 5 minutes, stirring twice. Pour into serving dishes and either serve warm or chill in the refrigerator.

I never knew how tasty warm chocolate pudding could be. Now there's no need to buy that "stuff" at the store, especially when I can have something that tastes so much better. I can have chocolate pudding any time I want to! Empowerment! Hoorah! :)

Monday Morning

2011-08-29T07:46:00.001-07:00

Today is the start of the second full week of the school year. Last week was crazy and busy and the routine I had created last year has become discombobulated and unusable. Having two children in middle school has created much less sleep for me! Sleep...will I ever get any again...maybe some day.

TJ seems to enjoy middle school. His friends that he made last year didn't end up in most of his classes and he's a little bummed. But I found that he is beginning to create new friendships already. I'm so thankful for that!

Alex went to school the first day of 6th grade and was nervous. The second day he came home and told me that middle school is going to be a piece of cake! I laughed! That's fantastic! What a great attitude to adopt after only two days. He is already making friends and connecting with old friends and he seems to be enjoying his school work. I'm hoping and praying that will continue.

So, with two in middle school, I must wake up at 6am, roll out of bed, stretch and carefully make my way down stairs to pull Alex from his deep slumber. He is not the kind of kid who wakes up easily and is not the type who can be left to get ready on his own. I stand in his room and gently call to him and coax him out of his warm bed, watch him climb down from the top bunk, and groggily find clothing to take to the bathroom. I remind him that he only needs 5 minutes in the shower and that he needs to be quick because there are two more people who need showers after he's done.

I climb, legs aching and tired, back up the stairs, now breathing heavily thanks to the sweet little Cassie who is 27 weeks gestation. I make my way to the kitchen, trying not to drag my feet as I walk, my legs still haven't recovered from the morning climb.

The counters in the kitchen are almost never clean in the morning. Go figure. I wash them down and begin making 5 lunches, all in a row. Each child likes his lunch a certain way, with certain items in it. Todd is no different. He feels a sandwich is not complete if it doesn't have chips to munch on along with it.

I hear Alex turn on the shower and note the time. In a few minutes I'll be descending the stairs again to tell him his time is up and he needs to finish.

TJ is quietly eating his breakfast at the table while I continue making lunches....slices of cucumber in this lunch...crunchy carrots in this one...two cookies for each lunch...Oh! Don't cut Todd sandwich in half...he's not a child...an apple in this lunch...peanut butter and jelly for Max, ham and cheese for Todd...and TJ...and Colin...I hope they eat it all today. Hmmm...what have I forgotten? Oh yes...Max needs an enzyme in his lunch. I blink my eyes, take a drink of cool water and try to clear my still sleepy head. Deep breath. I can stay awake for this...I know I can. I better get out Alex's medicine and vitamins so he can take them quickly.

Alex comes upstairs...takes his meds and vitamins and gets his breakfast ready. Today Alex is focused and is able to make good choices and get ready quickly. Thank goodness. Some days I spend most of my morning reminding him to stop talking so he can eat and get ready on time. Today was much more calm. A blessing.

Alyssa wakes up and I pick her up, sit in the kitchen chair, and hold her while smoothing her blond curls away from her face. She is calm now. I can put her down and continue.

TJ is done with his shower and is ready to help with chores. He feeds the lizard...oh I hope someone will want to take her home with them soon.

I pack the lunches in the lunch boxes and stuff them into the back packs....I don't want them to forget their lunch today. I remind the kids to put on deodorant, brush their teeth, put on their socks and shoes...go tell Dad it's time for morning prayer...do you have everything?...Goodbyes and I love you's and they head out the door. Now it's time to get Max and Colin finished. Deep breath. I'm so tired. How do other moms do this? Give myself a pep talk...I can do this.

Get the kids sitting down to eat breakfast...get dressed...brush teeth...feed the dog...get shoes and socks. Todd says his goodbyes and I love yous...kisses and hugs and Alyssa gives him "berzerts" to send him on his way. Now it's time for me to get dressed and ready to take the kids to school. Alyssa's dressed...curly hair going in all different directions...flip flops are on her feet...dog is in the kennel...it's time to get into the car. We drive the short distance to the school, pull in front of the building, park and let the boys out. More goodbyes and I love yous. Colin races to the door. Max takes his time. I watch to make sure they both make it inside and I drive home. A sigh of relief...that part of the day is done. Now on with the rest of my day. Maybe I'll find some energy somewhere...Once Cassie is born!

Yum!

2011-08-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually the one in our family who craves or even desires fast food. Once in a while, it's okay, but definitely not on a regular basis. Every morning as I drive my two youngest boys to school I pass by our local McDonald's. In this small town there's not a lot to pass...don't blink...ya might miss the town!

This morning the temperature was a nice comfy 75 degrees. I rolled down my windows and turned Taylor Swift up as loud as I dared...someone we pass by might not enjoy Taylor as much as I do! So, when we passed by McDonald's my nose was assaulted with the smells of breakfast. I forced my foot to stay on the gas pedal and drove on by. I don't NEED fast food. No one does, for that matter. Then a wondrous thought came to me...I could make my OWN yummy hash browns!

Once I got Lady Bug settled into my bed, with a cup of milk, to watch a show, I went to work. I peeled and grated 4 potatoes and set them aside. Then I went to work make my Mother-in-law's Buttermilk Biscuit recipe. I love love love simple and easy. And this recipe is just that! While I waited for the oven to heat up I began my search online to find the trick for making good hash browns. Here's what I found...the more moisture you can get out of the potatoes, the crispier they will be.

(Lady Bug came running in to the kitchen to see what the yummy smells were. She spotted the biscuits right away and said, "Oh! Biscuits!")

For the hash browns...first I tried pressing them between paper towels, but that didn't seem to work as well as I had hoped. Next I got out a small colander, placed it on top of a bowl and pressed the grated potatoes into it. This worked like a charm!

At first I had too much oil in my pan. I poured some out, heated it up and proceeded to experiment with the hash browns. Here are some things to remember: don't make them too thin on the edges, as they will burn there...make sure you only have a tablespoon or two of oil or butter in the pan for each one, and drain them on paper towels. There...I think I got it all. Pretty simple really.

Next I decided I needed some eggs. I prefer my eggs to be cooked over medium. Yes...for those who don't know me...I'm a wee bit anal. I like the yoke runny and the whites COMPLETELY cooked. I can't stand runny whites. Makes me feel icky. Anyway...I cooked my eggs and then thought ...this meal isn't complete.

I'm the type of person who likes vegetables any time of the day. No meal is complete, in my opinion, without either a fresh fruit or veggie. So, today, I finished this meal off with a cucumber, strait from my Dad's and Sister's garden all the way from Maine. (It's my last one...sniff...sniff) Now, some people would say, "You can't eat cucumber with that! It's just doesn't go together!" Well...I say there ARE no rules with cooking. You can eat what you like and what sounds good together...any time you want to! So there!! :) For those of you who believe veggies don't go with breakfast...break out the fruit. Again... I say there are no rules with cooking! Then again...I don't like to do what I'm told!

I'm no Rachel Ray...for that I am certain. But I like food...good tasting food! Who doesn't?? :)

Today I'm starting out my day with crunchy, crispy hash browns, tasty fried eggs, mouth watering biscuits and crunchy delicious cucumbers! Where did the energy come from? I have no idea. What I do know is that I can't eat like this very often or Todd will have to roll me into the delivery room in November!

My first garden

2011-08-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

I've begun a new adventure this year...gardening. I know, I know, we've been counseled to have a garden for years and years by our church, but I was scared. I had helped my parents with a garden as a kid, but I didn't remember how to go about doing a lot of it. I was intimidated by the unknown.

I finally have a home that has enough space to have a garden. Not only that, but there are no bunnies running around to eat it up on me. So with the encouragement of a friend I started purchasing plants. I bought tomatoes...way more than we really need...green peppers, eggplant, okra, cucumbers, squash and a few spices. I would love to have more, but didn't want to spend the money and then have the garden fail. I took it slowly. Another good friend offered her rich dark soil from her father's farm and very generously filled her truck and trailer and drove it to my house.

Todd has said from the beginning that he didn't want to have anything to do with the garden. His chore, when he was little, was to weed. No wonder he hated gardening! The joy is not found in the weeding. The joy is found when you cultivate the ground, add the plants/seeds, and watch your hard work become a beautiful garden full of delicious food. So, when I begged him to help me dig out the awful top soil, he agreed reluctantly. I tried so hard to dig it myself, but pregnancy does something to your muscles!! I get so tired out so quickly. It took a couple of evenings, but it was finally done and then we had the kids pick out all the crushed rock...for a wage. Counting the rocks was the most fun part for them. One penny per rock adds up quite quickly!

We piled the rich dark soil on top of the garden spot and then I began to plant. I have learned a lot since planting this garden. I have learned that if your garden slopes in a certain direction that you shouldn't put cucumber plants at the bottom of the slope. The water runs down hill and they get over watered. I lost all but one cucumber plant. BUT, the good news is that the one that survived is gorgeous and producing! I also decided that next year I will build up the lower end of the garden to make it level.

I never thought I could enjoy this as much as I have. Even the weeding has been enjoyable. It's quiet time to ponder and to think. It's also time that I spend talking to Father in Heaven and asking Him to bless my little garden as I am striving to do what I've been asked to do by modern day prophets.

Another good friend suggested taking old panty hose and cutting them into rings about 1/2 inch thick. Then you cut that open and use the "string" to tie up your plants. It's free and it works marvelously.

My plants are all growing huge and glorious! I thank Heavenly Father for blessing my little garden. The okra grows faster than the weeds...which is quite funny. It has huge leaves and beautiful blossoms. This past weekend I picked 5 okra! The eggplants are amazing. Their purple blossoms are pretty. I am pleasantly surprised at how quickly they grow as well. This weekend I picked 6 eggplant. We had Eggplant Parmesan for dinner on Saturday!! Delish!

Last night I was craving more eggplant but didn't want it fried, so I spent a few minutes researching how to prepare eggplant, online. This morning I baked a couple of eggplant peeled and sliced about 1/2 inch thick. I brushed them with some EVOO, sprinkled on some salt and pepper and placed a sprig of fresh thyme from my garden on each one. I baked it at 375 degrees for about 25 minutes and then broiled it for a couple minutes on each side. I then served it with eggs over medium and a couple of slices of toast. I ate both eggplants all by my self! They were so yummy!!!

I can't even believe the joy it brings to walk the short distance to my little garden and pick the fresh vegetables that are there. I never imagined I would feel this way about gardening! I'm SOLD!

The kids really enjoyed the first cucumber I picked! They were so excited and couldn't wait to taste it. Funny...it tastes like a cucumber! :) Max ate most of it, but we all got to taste its sweet crispy yumminess. I can't wait for the rest to grow!

The best part is that because I chose mostly vegetables that Todd likes too, he is able to enjoy the garden right along with us. He still won't go pull weeds, but he sees the blessings of the fruits of our labor!! And he likes how they taste too!!

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

As I was looking at some photos and the posts of a friend I grew up with I realized how sad I was at the lifestyle this person chose to have. And then I was reminded of this great country and the freedoms that we are blessed with. We all have choices in life to make and it's up to us what kind of person we will become.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned so far in my life is that we are all so very different. We each have different likes, dislikes, passions, aversions, obsessions, and tastes. Our outlook on life is different depending upon the things we have gone through to get where we are. Our circumstances are different, whether by our own doing or by the choices of others. Looking at all these vast differences I realize how important it is that we learn to appreciate those one another FOR our differences. Our differences make this Nation great!

We shouldn't hate others merely because they have differing beliefs than ours. We should know their beliefs and appreciate the individual for the beliefs they have, and then respect them. There are times when we may have to distance ourselves from certain people because we feel their lifestyle/beliefs are inappropriate for us or our families.

Father in Heaven loves each of us, and our differences. He would have us love one another and be kind to one another. I think, this Independence Day, more of us in this world should try to show more love and kindness to one another than we have before. Let's make this world a better place to live in for ALL people of all races/ethnic backgrounds and all different religious backgrounds! God bless us all as we strive to be better people! Happy Independence Day!

A great Sunday!

2011-06-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love it when I go to church and come home feeling uplifted and inspired and ready to take on the world! Many Sundays go by that I sit in the hallway holding my squirming, thrashing, screaming two year old. Some Sundays if is rough, but I learned a long time ago that simply attending church meetings so that your children can learn how wonderful it is, is reason enough to be there. It may be difficult for a while, but eventually they grow up a little and sit reverently and sometimes quietly! Today, my sweet husband took our two year old into the hallway for the majority of the times that she needed to be taken out. I am so thankful for him! His kindness allowed me to sit, and actually listen to the guest speakers, the St. Louis Mission President, his wife and his counselors. What an awesome Sunday!

To top that off, I was able to eat my snack, which I can't go without these days, and get into Sunday School before it really got underway. The lesson topic was "Love One Another". So simple, yet so profound. Charity, the pure love of Christ, can have an amazing effect on our lives and the world around us.

Then, as we were about to get things ready for Relief Society, our women's meeting, we were asked to join the Priesthood, men's group, and the youth for a lesson. What an unexpected surprise! President Layton, one of the counselors in the Mission presidency, taught the lesson. You guessed it...on missionary work. The real difference with his lesson was that he made missionary work seem easy. He explained how we can use it in our daily conversations. He made it a lot less scary!

Being the introvert that I am, it is very hard for me to want to share my belief with people, for fear of rejection or simply a negative response. I don't ever like to offend and I don't like confrontation. Although all my experiences with sharing the gospel have gone well, I still get nervous. I really enjoyed the way President Layton took a spin on it. It can be simple.

I can home feeling good, feeling uplifted, feeling inspired, feeling like I can actually share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with out it being an intimidating task.

I am so thankful for the Gospel in my life and the blessings that it brings on a daily basis. I'm thankful for a wonderful and loving husband who is so kind and forgiving and caring and for my awesome children who sometimes test me and try my patience so that I can grow and become the women I am meant to be. My children have a way of putting a smile on my face when I need it most!

Is it a girl or a boy?

2011-06-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

We went to have an ultrasound last Tuesday. My OB told me I was being sent for a "Level 2" ultrasound. I looked it up online, but couldn't really tell what it was. I asked several different people I spoke with as I made the appointment and they weren't sure what to tell me. So, we get into the office...finally...we waited FOREVER...and when I asked the tech she didn't even know what a "level 2" ultrasound was. Hahaha!

I am guessing that the purpose of the ultrasound, according to what the doctor said the last time I saw her, was to check to make sure amniotic fluid and such were at an appropriate level. Being over 35 they are taking a few extra precautions.

The tech did a lot of measuring and showing us the baby's cute profile and then when she was looking for the sex she struggled. 16 weeks is really rather hard to be sure of the sex. She said she didn't see anything that indicated a boy, but she would let the Doctor make that call. After waiting for another few minutes the Doctor arrived.

Though I had already stated, several times, that I do not want any genetic testing done, she proceeded to tell me the risks of down syndrome, and other disorders. I was thinking, "Lady...they tell us not to stress out when we're pregnant, so why are you bent on telling me things that are raising my blood pressure?" I'm so glad I had my wits about me enough to patiently listen and calmly refuse the testing, yet again.

We chatted about the possible sex of the baby and she told us that she never makes a call on the sex until at least 20 weeks. She took a peek; she printed more pictures, took more measurements, and checked on the sex. She said, "There is no way at all that this is a boy!" So much for "never" making the call at 16 weeks!!

Another girl? Could that even be possible??? Okay...I was mystified! Not shocked, like I was when they told me Alyssa was a girl, but it was kind of an "OH!" moment; pleasant surprise! Todd and I both had felt that it was another boy. We even had just a boy's name picked out because we were so sure that it was a boy. Boy...were we wrong! Haha! I had had a tiny inkling in the last couple of weeks that it might not be a boy, but hadn't said anything. I figured it was just me doubting. Hehehe! Now, with no girl's name picked out, we are doing a lot of thinking, asking for suggestions, and making lists. Yeesh! I like to be prepared and go to the hospital with a name. I don't like to wait. So, the fact that we don't already have a name has been a source of anxiety for me.

Before we left the Doctor's office I asked why I wasn't feeling the baby move yet. She showed me that the placenta is in the front of the baby acting sort of like a sponge. So, when the baby kicks, it's being absorbed by the placenta. She said I should be feeling movement by the time I come back for... yet another ultrasound... in four weeks. That was comforting.

Step back world...another little girl is coming to join the Cantwell Clan!

Real Super Heroes

2011-05-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

When we hear the term Superheroes or just heroes in general, many times our minds go directly to stories of Superman, Spiderman, Batman and a few others. These stories of individuals who care about others, who use their super human strength to save other peoples lives, who fly to the rescue of a damsel in distress...
use their laser beams to cut through walls...

These are only some of the things I think of when I think of a hero. But the ultimate heroes are the real people in the world who make sacrifices for others. Those who put themselves in harms way simply to protect another.

I'm sure there are dozens, maybe even hundreds of stories of real life heroes in the town of Joplin, MO. This morning I heard about one man who used himself as a shield to protect his wife, the love of his life, from the horrible tornado. He suffered a severe puncture wound in the his back and did not survive.

Not only are these families and individuals suffering the loss of their homes and the devastation surrounding them, but they are grieving the loss of their loved ones. Homes, vehicles, food, clothing...it can all be replaced. My heart aches for those who lost their loved ones; who have to find a way to get through the rubble and disorder without their husbands, wives and children.

Other heroes are those who answered the call and traveled many miles to lend a hand.

My heart goes out to these people who have lost their loved ones and homes. They are in my prayers.

We're Very Excited!!

2011-05-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

We are so excited to share our family news! Drum roll please...we are expecting baby number 6!! We thought we were finished having children. I mean, come on, five kids can be a lot of work some times. :D But the rewards are so worth it! We were contemplating taking permanent measures to prevent more children, since I get pregnant so easily. After much prayer and attending the temple we realized that there is one more sweet spirit that needs to come to our home. After taking a few months to wrap my brain around the idea we became...a little more...used to the idea.

The past couple of months I have spent lots of time feeling awful. Being sick during pregnancy is very normal for me, but as usual, I had hoped that it would be more mild and last a shorter period of time. That apparently was not in the plan for me! For a person who is normally very active and busy, it's very hard to be in bed or resting so much of the time. I haven't blogged. I haven't done laundry...unless absolutely necessary. Dishes keep piling up. Toys clutter the floor. Bathrooms are dirty. Books are sitting, half read, on my shelf. I can't wait to feel normal again!

Yesterday was my first OB appointment with a new Doctor. Dr. Su is such a sweet, laid back, easy to talk to person. I'm so thankful that I chose to see her! I was pleasantly surprised when she said she wanted to do an ultrasound to check to see if there was one...or two. Thankfully there is only one. I know I have watched good friends have twins and they are so precious and wonderful. I see the blessings of having two at once. I am extremely grateful that my Father in Heaven knows me so well, that he sends me one at a time!

We saw the heart beat! We saw the baby kicking! The baby looks healthy and is right on for my due date! I'm 13 weeks along (3 months) and due on November 26th! There are many family members who want me to have this baby on their birthday!! My Dad was born on November 23rd, my brother-in-law Scott was born on the 28th and Todd's brother Mike was born on the 27th. So, as long as I have this baby near the due date, I'll make someone happy!!

Many people have asked how the kids feel about it. Well, the boys are very excited! I was surprised at how excited they are! And I'm pleased that they are so excited. Alyssa, on the other hand, when I ask her is she wants a baby brother or sister to play with, she says no! I'm sure she'll be happy with it eventually! :D

So, this weekend was spent test driving a vehicle that could hold 8 passengers. Yesterday, I signed my life away to bring home this vehicle last night! What a blessing to be able to acquire a larger vehicle. We are grateful that everything keeps falling into place!

On a side note, the boys keep looking at my tummy to see if it's "swollen" yet! Ha! Max puts his hand on my belly and says, "Nope, not yet!" After working so hard for 2 years to lose weight I am thankful that I am gaining slowly!! I was so thrilled to be thinner than I had been in years. Todd keeps telling me not to worry, and that I'll be able to lose the weight it again! I sure hope he's right!

So, if you don't see a post from me for a few weeks, know that it's only because I'm tired and hard pressed to get anything other than dishes done!!

Autism

2011-04-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

I just watched a video on Facebook about a teenage girl with Autism. I was touched. I used about 1/4 of a box of tissues. I tried to post it on the blog, but I can't figure out how to do it correctly. If you are my friend on Facebook, go check my profile for the video clip.

Autism effects many people in many ways. In our home we have quite a soft spot for children/people with Autism. We live with Autism on a daily basis. There are moments when it is extremely difficult and other moments when we forget it's even there.

There are times when there is a lot of screaming and times when we have to search for Mr. Max to find out where he's hiding.
There's some hand flapping, toy twirling, silly noise making...
Sometimes there's pushing, kicking, hitting...

Always, there is a sweet little boy, with a sweet spirit inside of him that's just trying to communicate and connect. We are not always very good at handling situations that arise, but we have gotten better and better as he has gotten older.

I'm thankful that Mr. Max has a very high functioning form of Autism. Communication does happen. He does interact with others. If we hadn't put him on a gluten free/casein free diet, I'm not so sure he would have improved as much as he has. What a blessing!

The kindness of others

2011-04-07T09:14:00.001-07:00

I didn't know when I started my day yesterday that I would be touched by another...by a stranger.

I had a craving for Olive Garden yesterday and all I wanted to eat was soup, salad and bread sticks dipped in Alfredo sauce. I could almost taste it when I pictured the food in my mind. It's been a while since I had that for lunch. So I text-ed Todd at work and told him I wanted to meet him for lunch. I Googled the nearest Olive Garden location and it popped up about 20 minutes away, but a co-worker of Todd's said that there wasn't one in our city...Google must be mistaken. BUT...it's right there...online! So, I called the number listed...and to my dismay...this is what I heard,"Jeff City Red Lobster..." and I stopped listening. Disappointment set in.

The same co-worker then suggested a little Italian restaurant near the Capitol building that is her favorite. I don't enjoy driving around near the Capitol and really enjoy finding a parking space even less. I almost said no, but reluctantly decided to give it a try.

After circling around several times on the roads near the restaurant I realized I wasn't going to find a spot. Frustration was beginning to set in and I was about to give up. As it was I wasn't going to be able to enjoy what I really wanted in the first place. I finally decided to park in my bank's parking lot, even though I wouldn't be going into their establishment and we walked up the hill to the restaurant.

The place was packed...it seemed there were people everywhere. I was beginning to think this was a bad idea. We walked in and surprisingly enough we were seated right away. Hallelujah!

We were served bread and a tasty, seasoned dipping oil. Alyssa found the bread to be quite yummy and devoured her fair share! My eyes just about bugged out when I saw the prices for lunch and I wanted to just give up. Their menu options were limited. The soup of the day was lobster bisque, which sounded terrible, and I couldn't order any of the other soups listed in the menu. I finally settled on a salad and some fried zucchini sticks and called it good. The wait time was a bit longer than I thought it would be and when the food came out the zucchini sticks were not on the tray. I politely inquired to find out when they would be ready and the waiter apologized, he had not heard me ask for them. The salad was good...nothing to rave about. Todd's Fettuccine Alfredo was soupy and tasted like white macaroni and cheese sauce...oh well. Alyssa loved her mac and cheese and gobbled it right up.

We were sitting there, enjoying pleasant conversation and just being out together when a lady, who was also eating lunch in the restaurant, walked up, slid Todd a $20 bill and said, "This is for part of your meal. Thank you for your service." We both thanked the lady kindly and I tried to keep the tears from my eyes...unsuccessfully. I have never before been present when someone has paid for Todd's tab because he was dressed in his military uniform. He has told me stories, but this was the first time I was there. My heart was touched...what a kind gesture. I will forever remember the her thoughtful gesture.

Then the zucchini sticks arrived. Oh my goodness. Those delectable, scrumptious slices were worth every waiting moment. I would go to that restaurant again and simply order those and be happy as a clam! They were delicious!

My mood was considerably better as we walked out to pay for our meal. But the surprises weren't going to stop there. As we paid for our meal the lady taking payment mentioned that because Todd was in his officer's uniform we would be receiving 30% off our meal. WHAT! Okay! We shared looks of pleasant surprise, signed the slip and happily walked back to our car.

We had no idea we would have these blessings today. It put a spring in our step and a spark of happiness in our attitude that carried us through the rest of the day. It made me want to share bits of joy and happiness with others, more often. What can I do today that would make another person smile, or even lift their burden just a little and bring them a little happiness?

Fresh Cut Grass

2011-04-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh...

Fresh Cut Grass...

Is there anything so marvelous? It's a smell that brings back memories of summers in Maine...
...my Dad showing me how to mow the lawn, which I thought was quite a privilege
...he would mow the outline of a square and I would mow the rest
...it's what made me love mowing the lawn...something special I did with my dad
...someone else take the kids and I'll go outside and breathe the fresh air and the sweet scent of freshly cut grass.
...add to that the smell of lilacs and my nose will be in heaven!

It's been crazy weather here in the Mid-West this year. On Sunday we had weather in the 80's and I had to turn on the air conditioner. That night we were assaulted by a thunderstorm...in some places it produced tennis ball sized hail...but here it was fairly mild. The rain brought cooler weather on its heels.

By Monday morning the thermometer read 40 degrees. The temperature didn't increase much that day and the wind was cold and biting. Winter jackets should have been worn that day.

Tuesday morning the house was frigid because we forgot to put the heat back on. I rushed over and switched the heat on and turned the temperature up a bit, then wrapped my self up in a warm sweatshirt and donned my fuzzy socks.

When TJ left for school the temperature was about 33 degrees. Winter coats were found before heading out to school. By lunch time it was 60 degrees outside, but we still needed sweat shirts to combat the wind whipping around us.

Today is a perfect day to trim the new Spring grass. Since buying our new home we planted winter wheat along with grass seed to help the grass grow better. There are thick dark patches where the wheat grew well, reaching well passed Miss Lyssa's knees. Mowing those patches proved to be a little more difficult as they seemed to choke the mower is it tried to cut it down. Several times it succeeded in making the mower stall, creating frustration for Mr. Mower.

Mr. Max and Excited Colin run after the mower, following where it had been. They want to be just like Mr. Mower some day.

The lawn is now short and attractive and the scent of sweet grass mixed with a little bit of gasoline fills the air. What a happy smell! Spring just might be here!

Conference...a blessing to us all!

2011-04-03T19:21:00.001-07:00

One of the most wondrous blessings about being alive in this day and age is having the Restored Gospel on the earth. What a fantastic time we live in. We are privileged to have a modern day Prophet on the earth today who leads and guides the Lord's church. He blesses us with guidance and direction so we can live our lives in a manner that is pleasing to our Father in Heaven. Sometimes his direction is so simple and easy, while other times it is harder and tests our faith.

This weekend I was excited to turn on the computer and watch our semi-annual General Conference and hear the words of our leaders. What wonderful messages they had for us. There were messages on parenting, showing love to our spouses, listening to the Holy Ghost, being self reliant, giving service to those in need, and being disciples of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

One of the simple things our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, suggested that we do is to place a picture of the temple in each of the bedrooms in our home. The temples are beautiful places where we can go and feel of the spirit and receive courage and strength for the trials we might face. It is a place of learning. It is a place where families can be sealed for time and all eternity. It is a place of blessings. I want my children to love the temple as much as I do so that one day they too can be sealed to their eternal companions.

I am so thankful to be so blessed with the gospel in my life. It has helped to shape me into the person I am today. If you want to view any of the talks from General Conference, simply to go www.lds.org and look for the April 2011 conference. Soon you will be able to read them too. I can't wait to have my copy of the Ensign in my hot little hands!

Laugh...

2011-03-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

I love a good laugh. And when I happen upon a random blog that makes me laugh...I save it to my favorites and hope to find more humor there on another day.

Laughter is healing...
Laughter makes others want to know what made you laugh in the first place...
Laughter is contagious...
Little toddler laughter is probably the best, most wonderful, and glorious laughter to be privileged to hear...
Belly laughs...need I say more!...
Hearing your children laugh...in hysterics...with one another...is joyous!

I think I'll go enjoy a good laugh with my family today!

Books, books, and more books...

2011-03-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

I love books...it's plain and simple...
Books are wonderful treasures...that allow me to escape reality...for a time...
I love reading good books...the poorly written ones I find I want to chuck out the window...
I would spend every moment of every day on my comfy couch...if I could...reading good books...
But...alas...this is not my season to indulge in such lovely things for prolonged periods of time...so... I get in a chapter here, a line there, where ever I can.
Those are moments of pure bliss...when I am enveloped by another glorious tale...it's like therapy!

The book I am currently reading is by one of my favorite authors, Brandon Sanderson...who is a phenomenal story teller. The title of the book is "Alcatraz versus the Scrivener's Bones". It's the second book in the series.

When I purchased the first book I did it...almost cautiously. I really wasn't sure what to expect. I had read The "Mistborn" series...which I highly recommend. But this "Alcatraz" series is geared toward youth readers. I figured I could read them, make sure they were suitable and then pass them on to my sons to read. Little did I know...

So, I picked it up and was pleasantly surprised. It is hilarious! I found myself laughing out loud...and my family would ask, "WHAT?" To which I would shake my head and say,"nothing". While reading, I have found myself furrowing my brow...trying to figure out what crazy thing would happen next.

This series isn't your typical Fantasy series. It's far more. At the end of the day, I look forward to cracking open the book, withdrawing into its story...and laughing at its silliness! My children will love reading them...when I'm through of course!

I AM...A STAY-AT-HOME MOM!!!

2011-03-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

As I ran around...crazy...which is normal in our home...picking up the random toys and articles of clothing left by our two year old...I began pondering the importance of my job.

I have heard many people complain and make nasty comments about stay-at-home moms. I love this one...All they do is sit on the couch all day eating bon-bons.

To those who actually think those ridiculous things...I've not EVER had a bon-bon...in my life. Not only that, but my backside rarely has the pleasure of sitting on one of my comfy couches. My day ends when my children are tucked snuggly into their warm beds...and then, and only then, I am able to snuggle into my own bed and enjoy a good book or show.

I've also heard that people think that we don't do anything...at all...all day long. Well, I can tell you this...I AM the "Daycare". I play with my children, feed them, clean up after them, and make sure they are safe...I just don't get paid for it.

I am the "preschool". I read with them, I sit with them and help them on their homework, I cry with them, I break up little fights/arguments and help them to learn to get along, I teach them to color and cut with scissors and encourage their creativity.

I am the house keeper, the chef, the accountant...

When they fall and skin their knee...I'm their nurse...

When they're sad because someone won't play with them, I have the pleasure of holding them and reminding them of how much they are loved. I am the "guidance counselor".

Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job I have ever had. I work a lot of overtime...24/7...I never see a paycheck with my name on it...which means I never get a raise for a job well done...I also never have the opportunity to have a 6 month review where my boss tells me what a fantastic job I am doing...I get woken up in the middle of the night to get a drink for my 2 year old...and when one of the boys is sick I clean up after them...

The best part is...

My co-worker is the best I have ever had. He only works at home part-time, but when he does he's amazing! He is my best friend and we have an amazing work relationship. He is an amazing daddy and loves to play with our children.

Though the job is hard, and the pay is terrible, I wouldn't trade my job for anything. It is by far the most rewarding job I've ever had. So, for anyone who thinks we stay-at-home moms don't do anything...think again. Come spend a day with me at my home and see for yourself...it surely isn't all fun and games. But it is the most amazing I will ever have!

We're Rich...We're Rich!

2011-03-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

As I go through my day I hear some of the funniest things coming from the mouths of my children! This morning, the first day of spring break, we woke up to fluffy white flakes falling from the sky. The ground was covered with about four inches of the white fluff. I smiled to myself and went back to my warm bed...enjoying the first day of sleeping in!

Later, while I was working on the computer in the kitchen, the kids came in...hungry...as usual. I pulled out a bag of carrots, opened the bag and set them on the counter while I heated a pan for fried eggs.

You would think that I had done something miraculous when I produced that BIG bag of baby carrots.

"Oh carrots, carrots,
Oh everyone has carrots,
Oh yes they do!"
Colin sang to himself...

"We're Rich, we're rich...
we're rich, of carrots"
Max exclaimed excitedly...

"YUMMY Carrots," Colin continued...

"Hello everybody...carrots are good for you," Colin said into a carrot microphone before he chomped into it. "Naaa, fa nana na na, naaa, fa nana na na," Colin sang as he danced around the kitchen, twirling, holding his carrot!

Max danced around and sang to himself while he ate his carrots.

Who knew that carrots could bring so much joy and happiness! :)

I should get out carrots more often!

Nothing to say...

2011-03-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

Days like this I find myself feeling like I want to write...but about what? So much is going on around me...it's like I'm sitting in my chair and the world and the chaos are spinning in rampant crazy circles around me and my chair...creating a blur.

I just finished reading a blog that I happened upon...and I'm always amazed at what I find when I need it! I was actually doing some research to help a friend find gf/cf foods for her children. It always makes me smile to read or hear about others who struggle with similar things in life. This woman also has a son with Autism and a son with ADHD. It seems that Autism and ADHD are everywhere. It's bringing people together to help one another through yet another trial in life.

We don't find things by accident...there is always a purpose.

People sometimes look at me in awe...like I must be some kind of hero...to be living with a child with Autism and one with ADHD. And I furrow my brow and think...they're my children...they ARE who they are, in part, because of the disorders...and I love them.

Yes...there are times when it's very crazy in our home...well...we ARE the CRAZY Cantwells! :)

Sometimes there are extremely loud screams coming from the mouth of Mr. Max; Screams that most normal 9 year olds would never find erupting from their bodies. We've learned not to react much. We turn, look to see it he's hurt/injured/dying and then when we see that he is not we tell him that the screaming is not an acceptable behavior. Usually it's caused by a sibling taking something, or pretending to throw something away that should not be thrown away, or because in his mind he had the cereal box first even if he hadn't even touched it yet.

What we find as pretty normal in our house...is far from normal to many people.

Max...hates homework. He gets very upset when he had to do homework. And when I'm not paying close enough attention, he makes me think that he doesn't have homework...then I realize the next morning that, in fact, he does have some. Let the screaming begin!

His newest way to show his frustration is to slap his own face. Well, that just can't make it much better, now can it.

It's a daily struggle. One that I know I can handle with the help of my Father in Heaven. And he seems to bless me with others...along the way...that can help me...or I can help them as we struggle each day through life.

Okay, so I started out with nothing to say, and then rambled on. That's par for the course I guess! Have a fantastically sunny day!

6 Long Weeks!

2011-03-07T10:47:00.000-08:00

Todd had decided many months ago that he wanted to attend AMS or Academy of Military Science. It's similar to Officer's Training School but for the Air National Guardsman. As the day grew closer for Todd to leave, my anxiety increased and I began to wonder how in the world I would take on this task. How would I do it? What if something happened while he was gone? So many scenarios ran rampant through my mind. Over and over they spilled into my thoughts as I tried desperately to mentally prepare. Finally, the day before he was to leave, I sat across from the Bishop for some counsel and felt prompted to ask him for a blessing. Walking out of his office I felt strengthened. I knew, with only a tiny bit of doubt, that I could do this.

Todd finished packing his bags and preparing himself for what would be one of the most challenging experiences of his life … and mine for that matter. We hadn’t been apart in years, except for small trips he had taken to Panama, etc. By the time the day to leave arrived there were many mixed emotions floating around our home. The boys didn’t want him to leave and the idea of 6 whole weeks apart seemed daunting. Alyssa, too young to understand, just knew something was coming.

Early in the morning … way too early … Todd loaded his car and we said our goodbyes … our tearful goodbyes. I wasn’t going to cry, but try as I might, I couldn’t hold back the flow of emotion. It took me a long time to allow myself to get back to sleep. Once the tears stopped, and I finally relaxed, I fell into my bed and fell asleep.

Along the way to Alabama, Todd called to check in. He let me know where he was and how he was doing. We even spoke a bit on Sunday. On Monday evening he was allowed a 2 minute phone call. He called to let me know he was safe and sound, but wouldn’t be able to call me for a while. I was thankful to hear his voice … and a little nervous about not being able to talk to him each day. On Wednesday night, I was at church for Scouts when I received a phone call … the number didn’t look like anything I recognized, so I answered. I was please and surprised to hear Todd’s voice on the other end of the line. He had received special permission to call me because he had not taken enough pairs of Dress Blues pants with him. He needed me to overnight them. Then he told me what a hard time he was having. They had to lock their personal belongings in a drawer…which included his cell phone … turned off. They had given them manuals to read … which they were expected to read and already know. They were getting yelled at left and right … or as they called it “Overhead Correction”. Every time his flight did something wrong they had to drop and do push-ups. They were constantly doing sit-ups, flutter kicks, planks and lots of marching. He had no idea before he left that he was going to be in an environment so similar to basic training. He was feeling down about it … considering the fact that he had worked so hard to become a Master Sergeant. He wondered if he really wanted to be there.

He pushed forward, working hard, studying for the tests … and at the end of the day he made time to read his scriptures and say his prayers. Once I learned that he read and prayed before bed, I began doing to same thing so that we could feel a little closer together.

Finally Sunday came and he was able to call … for a whopping 10 minutes. I was so thankful to hear his voice, even if it was for such a small amount of time.
I spent a lot of time on my knees … praying for Todd, and for our family. I know that Father in Heaven heard my prayers and blessed us immensely. For the first time … ever … I was able to fall asleep while he was gone. I felt at peace, knowing that we were all being watched over.

Eventually … after a few weeks we were able to talk on the phone every night. What a blessing that was. Not only did we talk, but we emailed as well. Throughout the day, when I felt prompted, I would sit and write my thoughts to him. Those emails became precious times for me to share with Todd my inner thoughts and feelings and share what was happening in our home. I treasured the replies and enjoyed our phone calls. It’s amazing and beautiful to see how much our relationship has grown over the years. It has changed and morphed and developed into this awesome marriage. I don’t see him the way I once did, when we first met. He is so much more to me, and I to him.

Graduation was coming … and I was down … sad …jealous … that I would not be able to attend. I expressed those feelings to my wonderful husband and he shared in my disappointment. We simply didn’t know how we could make it happen. Unbeknownst to me … Todd mentioned it to his mother. Not too long after that, I received a voice message from my Mother-in-law … she had an idea … so finally I called. I was sure that whatever her idea was … it wasn’t going to allow me to go see Todd. I laugh now, thinking that I should have had a better attitude!

My Mother-in-Law offered for her and Dad to drive up from Texas, pick me up, and then drive to Alabama. My mind was overwhelmed with the idea and the possibility. I needed to find people to take care of the boys. I needed to find someone to dog sit. I needed to find a formal dress to wear to the banquet dinner. I needed to get everything in order in about 2 weeks.

In a matter of a couple of days I found someone to take on the enormous task of taking care of an extra 4 children. What a wonderful friend. Elizabeth and her family are amazing! But I already knew that, and that is why I felt comfortable leaving my boys in her care. She did an amazing job. I didn’t worry a bit. What a fantastic blessing and an answer to my prayers she was.

So the search for the perfect … modest … dress was on. It was ON! I searched several sights. I called a couple of companies. I read the fine print. I started to feel like I would never be able to get an appropriate dress. Most companies require a minimum of 5-6 weeks to get the dress ready and shipped. Well, that would be fine if I didn’t need it in less than 2 weeks! I finally found a few dresses on www.beautifullymodest.com. They could ship it in 2-3 days!!! I was disappointed to find that they didn’t have my favorite dresses in my size … but they had a pretty red one … in a size larger … and I could get it taken in. Okay … fine. I went for it. I ordered that … found some cute black heels …and anyone who knows me knows that I do NOT wear heels … but I would do anything to impress my husband! I also found a cute black purse … and some tights … with hearts on them!

I decided to order another dress … a less dressy one … for graduation. It was one that Todd had mentioned that he REALLY liked the looks of. So, I ordered that one, as well, as a surprise.

While getting ready to go, I felt like I was going to go insane. So much to do … so little time … I started to have to prioritize those things that were most important. Don’t have time to finish the laundry … oh well … that can wait. Don’t have time to finish cleaning stinky, cluttery bedrooms … oh well … that can wait.
Tuesday morning finally came and Alyssa and I were on the road with Todd’s parents. The boys were in good hands and I took a deep breath! Everything was falling neatly into place.

12 hours later … we arrived at our hotel in Alabama. What a welcomed sight to see my handsome and amazing husband standing outside, waiting for me. The next few days are a bit of a blur …

A trip to the store for items forgotten…

A tour of OTS dorms, and other rooms and buildings…

Running back to the hotel to change…

Taking the State Oath…

Running back to the hotel to get ready for the Formal Banquet…

Getting nails done … and hair done …

Rushing out the door again…

Enjoying a tasty steak dinner, and amazingly … some interesting speakers…

Getting up early … packing the car … rushing to the base for Graduation…

Rush … rush … rush … rushing…

Watching graduation…

A funny … rushing up to the front to take pictures of Todd ringing the bell, and receiving his official document stating that he is now a Second Lieutenant … my decorative tights … which were thigh highs … started rolling down my leg. Oh Holy Cow! I prayed so hard that they would at least stay above my knee … and thankfully they did! How embarrassing would that have been? I quickly went back to my seat and proceeded to remove the cursed thigh highs. Note to self … never wear thigh highs again! That crisis averted … I was able to sit and visit with Todd’s brother, John, and his wife, Cherry, and their children while we half listened/watched the rest of the graduates … graduate.

Next the parade …

Then he was officially released from what seemed like … prison. He now had use of his cell phone, car and could hug and kiss me whenever he wanted to … since he was again in civilian clothing. You know … you gotta watch out for that PDA while in uniform!

We found a BBQ restaurant to eat at and enjoyed listening to the local accent. The company was pleasant, the food was delish, and the time spent with family … priceless!

We are finally home and enjoying sleeping in our own bed again. It’s amazing to me, as I look back, I can see Heavenly Father’s hand in this experience. He blessed us so much. He knew what we needed, and when we needed it most. I’m so thankful for this experience … and I’m glad it’s over!

Enjoying life...

2011-02-21T17:37:00.000-08:00

Spending time with family can be so much fun! The kids really needed to have some down time with their cousins and I wanted to see my awesome friend who recently had her baby....during the blizzard! What a great reason for a road trip!

So, off we went to Kansas City to play. The weather was warm ... warm enough for the kids to be sporting their shorts and t-shirts.

Flip flops on my feet!

The warm weather makes me happy...and so does the lack of sneakers surrounding, confining, suffocating my feet. The less I have to wear shoes...the better.

The kids laughed, wrestled, ran, screamed, played, stayed up late...way too late...slept, and did it all over again!

We celebrated birthdays missed, ate yummy, gooey, chocolatey, warm goodness topped with real whipped cream. Yum! Delish!

We enjoyed movies, video games, board games and more. Ate scrumptious homemade pizza and pizza rolls, and tasty salsa chicken with rice, and juicy roast.

The kids ran, screamed, laughed and played some more.

We visited with friends: Michelle and her sweet family...including her adorable baby with the thick dark hair and kissable face, Georgia and her adorable children and kind husband...she's the best one-on-one that Max ever had at school! She and Max share quite a sweet bond. It was so nice to visit with her.

The kids begged, pleaded, whined, nagged, and asked if we could stay just one more night. Uncle Mike added his two cents too saying, "if you don't have to be back for school or anything you SHOULD stay another night"! Well, that did it. How do you say no to that? So, we stayed one more night.

By 10am I was ready to head for home. The bags were packed the van was loaded and we started the process. The whining began...and continued...and continued. It would be so much more fun to just stay longer. But I needed to get on the road...and Lyssa was fussy...

We headed for home at about 11:11...

When we got to I-70 today I went the wrong way....DUH! I got totally confused by all the detour signs and got all messed up. Grrr! I did a lot of hitting the steering wheel and yelling..."Darn it!!!" I set such a fantastic example of being cool, calm and collected in the face of frustration. NOT! Hahaha! Better to laugh at my mistakes... So, I finally found an exit to get myself turned around...we could see downtown KC by then. Hahaha!

Once we got back on the correct road...it was a nice, quiet drive. We sang to Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift. TJ gestured to passing semi trucks to get them to honk their horns. (It's amazing the joy that can be created from a horn honking...it puts a smile on the child's face and one on the face of the trucker as well...)Lyssa and Colin slept soundly. Alex sang along to Rascal Flatts... they're one of our favorites...

Then ... we're driving down I-63 from Columbia and Max starts bawling. What in the world? So, Alex tells me that Max is upset because Colin is bothering him. Okay. Colin stops and Max is STILL bawling. Tears running down his cheeks. After a while I said, "Max, why are you crying?" He said, "I forgot!" Haha! Okay. Keep driving. But he KEEPS crying, and his face is all red...so brilliantly I ask another question..."Max do you need to go potty?" "I forgot!" He says again. "Do you need to poop or pee?" He says, "I need to pee!" So, here we are with bluffs on both sides of the road...Max crying his eyes out in pain from trying to hold it in...and no sign of a gas station. I kept driving...hoping I would find something. Then the cries turned into wails and I decided I didn't care who drove past and saw him peeing on the side of the road! I pulled over quickly and came to a stop and told both TJ and Max to hop out of the car. After much redirecting and repositioning so that the other drivers couldn't see anything...he was much relieved and much happier! :) His face turned back to the normal color and he was smiling again....On the road again....

We finally made it home, unpacked and relaxed! It's so nice to be back in our own home, enjoying the familiar sights and smells. Good trips help us to appreciate our homes! *sigh*

14 Years!

2011-02-18T08:16:00.001-08:00

It's truly amazing to look back on your life and see how far you've come. Fourteen years ago today Todd and I were married in the Washington, DC temple. When we first met I was amazed at how well we knew each other in such a short amount of time. He has always had a way with making others laugh and smile. That hasn't changed. He brings a smile to my face every day.

He has spent many years working to get his degree and that time and effort has finally paid off. He received his official transcript and diploma in the mail this week. What an exciting moment. He reached his goal. It's finally complete.

Now he can focus on his job, creating a great Partnership Program with Panama, and work to improve his translating.

He is AMAZING!

I'm so thankful to be blessed with a man who loves me, takes care of me, laughs with me, holds me when I need him to, and is an incredible individual.

So Tired!

2011-01-29T12:21:00.000-08:00

I knew I was tired, but I didn't realize I was that tired. When 7:30 came and I was snuggled up in bed with my 2 year old and I couldn't keep my eyes open, I knew I was a goner.

No matter how hard I tried, my eye lids kept falling. Is it 8 yet? Please let it be 8, I thought, as my eyes dropped closed again. A fleeting thought, it's Friday, they don't have to be in bed until 10. Oh crud. My eyes closed again. Kipper the dog played in the back ground. I opened my eyes, adjusted my glasses and willed my eyes to stay open for just a little while longer. Another episode was chosen, and Kipper continued....did I fall asleep again? My eyes popped open.

TJ's in my room asking me something...I couldn't figure out what. "Can you take care of Alyssa? I need to sleep." TJ takes Alyssa and keeps her busy. Kipper still playing in the background, was anyone even watching it? I don't know. My eyes closed again. I should take off my glasses....but I'm just so tired.

The boys came in and out of my room several times. I can't remember what they needed or wanted. I'm sure if it had been life threatening the tired fog would have lifted rapidly and I would have taken care of their needs. But that didn't happen, and the fog stayed, and the boys watched Suite Life on Deck or some other show, and Alyssa watched more Kipper.

At 10:30pm my eyes popped open and I saw Colin fast asleep on the cushion beside my bed. Alyssa was sound asleep next to me and Kipper was over. I kept hearing something. The dog was sleeping next to Colin, so it wasn't her making noise. Max was awake but on his bed being quiet. TJ was sound asleep in his bed, and Alex was on his bed pretending to be asleep. Silly boy. I told him he could sleep in the living room, but he had to be quiet and go to sleep. The living room is the fun place to sleep! I locked all the doors, checked the windows and locked some of those, and climbed back into my snuggly warm bed and fell asleep. And some where in there I remembered to take off my glasses...thankfully!

What a night!

Friends

2011-01-25T15:03:00.000-08:00

It's amazing to me how life throws us all together, in one place, to become friends, cherished friends, and then we move on to yet another place where we will make yet more wonderful and cherished friends.

The area we just moved from is full of the most fantastic people. And one by one we seem to be moving on, to other new places. One to the south, one a few hours away, one to the west...

We were put there, it would seem, to be together. To give one another what we needed at that time. To become friends. To laugh together. To learn together. And then one by one, we have moved on...but the friendships remain.

I know there is a purpose in it all. I know it's all meant to be. It makes me wonder...did I do what I needed to there? Did I touch the people I needed to touch? Did I learn what I was supposed to?

I know I made the most wonderful friends. It will be a special place in my memories forever. It will be one of the places I call "HOME"!

I Embarrassed My Kids

2011-01-25T06:18:00.000-08:00

I'm chuckling to myself as I think about it!

This morning didn't go quite as smoothly as yesterday. But, all things considered, the morning still turned out pretty good.

We got in the car to drive to school, just in time. Everyone was buckled, coats were on and some of them actually got zipped. Bellies were full, teeth were brushed, and I think most everyone had on clean clothing. :)

I turned on the newest Rascal Flatts CD and the first song has a pretty good...get up and go beat. I haven't yet learned all the words to the songs, since I haven't made the dedicated effort to listen to it every day. I WILL know the words eventually, so that I can sing along. What's the point of good music if we can't belt it out along with them?

So I completely embarrassed my children instead!

I started dancing in my seat. Callin' out to each of the kids, trying to get them to dance along. Alyssa joins in, a huge grin across her face, blue eyes sparkling with happiness.

Max bops a little to the music, smiling to himself, and looking at Alyssa, cracking up at me....My hands are waving, my head is bopping, I'm clapping, tapping the brakes to make the kids' heads bop...since they weren't going to join me in my craziness.

Alex sat straight faced in the front seat. I poked him, sang to him, giggled and he kept telling me no. He'd grin a little and then quickly regain his calm composure. "You're embarrassing me Mom!"

That only made me laugh harder and get sillier. Who's gonna know who I am as I drive by? No one! I pointed out that probably most of the people who even noticed us were thinking, "I wish I was having that much fun". Maybe we made a couple people smile, or shake their heads. Who knows.

Colin refused to join in. I couldn't even make him crack a smile. "MOM! You're embarrassing us!" He wants to be just like his big brother.

Here we are...driving on this back road with only the trees, the snow, some cows and a few horses to notice us. Who in the world would see us being silly?

I said, "No one is even out here! Who's gonna see us having a little fun?"

It didn't matter. They were dead set against being silly in the car.

After the boys got out at the school and we all said our routine "goodbyes" and "I love yous", Alyssa asked to listen to the music again. She was having fun clapping and bopping to the music with her silly mom. She hasn't gotten to an age where she cares what anyone thinks. What a precious age!

I hope we made a couple heads turn, I hope we made someone smile, and maybe someone shook their head but smiled to themselves thinking they wished they were having that much fun!

Oh, what a day!

2011-01-24T14:51:00.001-08:00

And so the week begins. It's Monday again. I recently made a comment to my brother-in-law that Monday's aren't all bad, it's about perspective. And it's so true. Any day can turn into a bad day if we allow it to.

But on the flip side, any day can be a great day, if you make it such. It can be a fantastic day...a stupendous day...a fantabulous day...a wonderful day...an extraordinary day...an amazing day...an awesome day...a brilliant day...a sensational day.

It's up to you to make it that way!

Today was a great day. Today I actually got myself out of bed in time to exercise BEFORE I dragged my kids out of bed to get ready for school. We actually headed out the door on time. Can I hear a Hoot Hoot!

Spending time with a friend was the icing on the cake.

Leftovers for dinner, ice cream for desert (only because it's left over from my birthday. Otherwise we don't usually have desert), and then the kids will run off to play or watch a show.

*sigh*

Good times!

A Favorite

2011-01-23T09:50:00.000-08:00

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&vgnextoid=bd163ca6e9aa3210VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&channelId=bd163ca6e9aa3210VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&sourceId=ffd6ad4e1ae92210VgnVCM100000176f620a____

This is one of my most favorite talks given. President Uchtdorf is an amazing speaker. He always has a ways of making me feel like what I am doing is the BEST thing I could be doing in this life. I am a mother. I am a stay-at-home Mom. And I love my job!

The very last quote of this clip is the one that has stuck with me since he gave this address. "The more you trust and rely upon the spirit, the Greater your capacity to create!"

We create
...a spirit of love in our homes
...a clean tidy home
...meals for our families to eat
...a place for learning and growing, a place where the spirit may dwell
...bonds of love and friendship
...scrapbooks and journals of memories to share
...piles of cleaned, folded laundry to wear
...family home evenings to engage our family members
...times to work together as a team

There are so many ways that we can create. It's not just the painting, or photographs, or sculpture...it's the bread we bake, the story we write, the songs we sing. It's the smile we share, the giggles we hear, the quiet moments, the one-on-one talks, the teaching moments. As we live our lives, we create something each day.

Inspiration

2011-01-23T09:25:00.000-08:00

It is absolutely amazing to me how patience comes when I am reading my scriptures, reading the messages of the modern day prophets and apostles of the Lord; when I am listening to inspiring stories of Mothers who have risen above. We CAN be great Mothers, women, individuals. We can be better today than we were yesterday. We just need that push, that extra added measure of strength, that courage that comes from staying close to our Father in Heaven.

When I am in tune with the whisperings of the Spirit I can bite my tongue and then say kind words...I can stop and think before I act or speak...I can speak more softly...I can be more understanding...when I am in tune.

Each day is a challenge. Children fight and argue over trivial things. They take toys away from a sibling. They hit someone because they are upset. They leave their things all over the floor and the dog chews them up....I could go on and on.

Each day can turn into a joy. With our loving Father in Heaven at our side and our Savior as our example we can do so much; be so much more than we could have been. I am so thankful for a loving Father who blesses me when I need it most. He inspires me to read my scriptures and listen to the teaching of the prophets. He guides me so that I know what to say; so that I can be the woman I want to be. I want to be more and more like Him each and every day.

Holidays!

2010-12-27T18:16:00.001-08:00

Christmas is so fun! Even better when there are children about, to make the time of year that much more exciting. Most of our boys know the true meaning of Christmas and no longer believe in the man in the warm cozy red suit. We constantly hush them when others are around, so that other children can still believe.

This year we wanted to teach them about giving and the fun and joy there is in giving. That has been our focus. We want them to understand that it has nothing to do with what is under the tree, but everything to do the our Savior. We sang Christmas songs together. We read Luke 2 and talked about the amazing birth of the Christ Child. We talked about the way we should treat others. It's been a great time for teaching and learning.

The tree was beautiful and was decorated with care. That always helps bring the Christmas spirit into our home. The Christmas music played, as often as possible. Presents we wrapped. Packages were mailed. Goodies were baked. It was a wonderful Christmas.

Lyssa-loo is two. This Christmas was especially fun with her. She loved opening gifts. She loved the shoes, all three different kinds, and kept trying a new pair on over and over again.

The boys were so funny. They were so excited about some of their gifts that they were jumping up and down, screaming, giggling and smiling. They had a fantastic Christmas.

The only bummer about the whole holiday, well two bummers, was that we didn't have any family to share it with for the first time in years...and we got sick. Lyssa-loo got it first. Then Todd got it and the fever hit on Christmas afternoon. Then it hit me. So, Sunday was spent in bed, watching all the new movies we got for Christmas and solving Rubik's cubes. I was so excited to solve all 4 Rubik's cubes in the house. Not only that, it was the first time I have EVER solved one. I broke a record for myself!!! That was fun! Now it's Monday, Todd had to stay home from work, sick. We stayed in bed most of the day. I got the shakes, chills, stuffy head, head ache, runny nose...fun. So, I have watched more movies and took a nap while the kids and Todd played video games.

I hope we feel better soon. No more sugar. I haven't had sugar in the house until the holiday season, and guess what, I've been healthy. Now, when there is sugar around, and I'm eating it, I get sick. Cursed sugar. If only the silly viruses didn't feed on the stuff, I'd be okay!

Anyway, I'm grateful for health and grateful for a wonderful Christmas. I truly hope that more people will keep the Christmas spirit alive throughout the year this year. Happy New Year!

2010-12-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

A Give-Away!

2010-12-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

http://iamapistachio.blogspot.com/2010/12/giveaway-adorable-handcrafted-play-food.html?spref=fb

I have an amazingly talented friend who makes the most adorable felt food. I have purchased a few pieces from her for Alyssa and she LOVES to play with them. The fried eggs are so realistic and the bacon looks like I could eat it. It's so much fun! Take a gander at the link on my friend's blog and also catch the tempting foods on Etsy. ( http://www.etsy.com/shop/thewhimsicalgourmet )

Life Lessons

2010-12-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

In my life I have learned much. I continue to learn much. I hope to be able to continually learn great things to help improve myself and my family. I find it quite interesting that no matter how hard we try...no matter how much effort we put into becoming better...there is always more to do. That's not a bad thing. It's good. Think about it....for all the time spent learning and improving...there is always more that we can learn. I won't stop here, at this moment in time, just like I am today. Thank goodness! I'll keep getting better.

I love listening to others who have lived longer than I. They have gained so much knowledge and wisdom. And I wonder...is my heart and mind open to new ideas, new strategies, new ways of being? I try...all the time...to be very open minded. No one thinks the same way, and that can be a blessing. Others' ideas give a new perspective; opens the eyes; helps to see things more clearly. The fog lifts and the light bulb turns on. Aha! New knowledge flows quickly, filling empty spaces, that were waiting to be filled.

I'm surely not done learning and I am so thankful for that. I might not have a formal college education, but I research, I poke, I prod, and turn over new rocks and leaves...looking for more knowledge. It's all around us...begging to be found.

Some knowledge comes from trials; events in our lives that cause us to learn. What a great time to take a step back and really ponder and observe and learn. What could I have done differently? What could I have worded more kindly? What facial expressions could I have changed? What reactions or overreactions could I have eliminated by taking a deep breath, stopping, and thinking, before responding?

I'm grateful for this time on earth to learn...to become a better person. I hope that when I meet my Father in Heaven again he will be pleased with the person I have become.

Our family in a nutshell

2010-11-15T10:01:00.001-08:00

It's getting to be that time of year again when the crazy holiday bustle begins. I love this time of year. I love relaxing with my family...eating yummy treats... thinking about all our accomplishments over the year ... and thinking about our blessings.

TJ is getting more accustomed to Middle School. With a schedule change he was able to enjoy his new school much more. He still loves drawing. He continues to get better and better at it. He is very creative and imaginative. He has found that he actually enjoys reading a good book once in a while for fun. He loves to play video games...as most kids his age do. He is helpful and kind and we just think he's fantastic!

Alex loves his new school and at the same time misses the old one too. He is funny. He loves to be outside and ride his bike. He is very sweet and kind and is good with his little sister. He doesn't care what others think of him and is confident in what he likes to do. He enjoyed playing flag football for the first time this year and really enjoyed the time on the field. He loves to sing and is pretty good at it too. He gets embarrassed very easily...just like his mom!! He's a great kid! We think he's awesome!

Max loves his new school as well. He has adjusted fairly well to it. He likes his teacher, which is a plus! He continues to grow and learn so much. He loves to pretend and is fantastic at quoting movies that he likes. He loves watching "Jack and the Beanstock" and loves to quote Gilbert Gottfried's character from that movie. When a conversation reminds him of a movie...he starts quoting. We don't always know what movie he is quoting, which makes it quite interesting at times! It's quite fun! He loves to play and be silly and loves to watch his siblings play too. He is sweet and kind. We think Max is just amazing!

Colin thinks his new teacher is the nicest teacher ever! He loves to read and has improved so much this year. He is working with an awesome teacher, one-on-one, to help improve his reading skills. He continues to impress us constantly. He is so thoughtful and helpful. He knows what to do to earn brownie points!! He like to make up jokes...and sometimes they make sense!! He is a ham!! He loves to fill up the sink in the bathroom and play with toys in it or dunk his head in it. Lacking creativity he is not! He still loves to sit with Mom and Dad and be cuddled...though we don't know how long that will last for! He is almost always good for a little entertainment! We think he is wonderful!

Alyssa loves to play pretend. She is so cute and sweet most of the time! She loves to sing to her toys, and watch shows, and go for rides. She loves animals. She enjoys going out to see our friend's pigs. She loves pigs! She also likes horses and other animals. She is funny and silly and brings a smile to our faces. She is constantly saying new words...and sometimes her pronunciation is quite humorous!!!

Todd is finally done with his college classes and should get his degree in December this year! He is thrilled after jumping through so many hoops to get there. He loves his new job and enjoys traveling to Panama as often as they'll send him. He loves speaking Spanish and gets as giddy as a school boy when presented with an opportunity to use that ability. He loves being silly with the kids and bringing laughter to our home. We think he's a keeper!!! He's fantabulous!

And then we get to me. It's hard to boast about myself...I can boast about my family all day long, but to think of all the things I do well and then share them...that's just weird!! :) So, I'll give it a try. I am blessed with the opportunity to be a stay-at-home Mom. It's the most wonderful profession I could've ever chosen for myself. I love to take pictures but don't have the opportunity as often as I would like to. I love to read, and write and I'm addicted to good movies. Good meaning...a good story. If it's cheesie...it gets turned off! If it's filthy...it gets turned off too! I like a good fantasy and will read books like Harry Potter, Mist Born, Fablehaven, and Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians. There's so much out there to read...and so little time! I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and am so thankful to have it as a guide in my life. It's what keeps me going each day.

Death of the Cell phone!

2010-10-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize how often I used my cell phone and how much it was worth to me until I dropped it into the toilet. Yes, that's right, I dropped it into the toilet. I had a good laugh about it and so did Todd. I have teased him many times, because he takes his into the bathroom with him. And now, I'm the one who dropped it into the toilet, not the one who plays games on his while using the restroom! Then I called T-Mobile and I told the customer service representative why I needed to replace my phone. I'm so glad I could bring such joy to so many people this week with my story! No one else likes to admit they would do something like that, but I guess I just don't care what people think. I have now ordered a carrying case that will clip onto my pants and protect the phone from flying into yet another water death. They were so kind as to overnight it to me, so I have only been without a cell phone for about 1 1/2 days. Still...it's torture!! I had to take TJ's phone and use it! It makes me laugh!! What is the world coming to?

An answer to many prayers

2010-10-20T09:24:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here in tears...tears of gratitude for staff at school that are taking care of our TJ. We have spent much of our time in prayer for TJ as he struggles in this new school. For some reason he has been targeted by three boys in the seventh grade. First a boy had been teasing and tormenting him on a daily basis. That has been taken care of. Then three boys decided to corner him in the locker room recently and put him in a headlock along with a threat that if he told anyone they would kill him. I'm so thankful that he feels comfortable enough with us that he came home and told me what happened. I took care of it immediately. The next week the one who put him in a headlock received an in school suspension. Almost immediately he was called a snitch. When he told them that he wasn't the one who told, but it was his Mom, he was called a "Momma's Boy". I chuckled and said that was okay because the Stripling Warriors were Momma's Boys and they were awesome, righteous sons. I could handle that! He liked that thought!

So, these boys have continued to try to tease and torment in the hallways. They walk by and give him dirty looks or quickly thrust their head toward him trying to intimidate him. We suggested that he just continue to ignore it and look for his friends in the hallway. That worked until yesterday when one of the boys shoved him to the floor while the teachers were busy and the hallway was crowded. We pray daily for him....for strength...for the spirit to guide him to know how to handle the situations. I called today and spoke with the counselor and explained the story. She then called TJ to her office along with the principal and they created a plan that TJ is very willing and happy to follow through with. They are switching with days of the week TJ has PE and health so that he no longer has to be in any classes with these other young men. He begins the new schedule today. The counselor told him that if anyone asks why he had to switch he can tell them that Mrs. Keiser asked him to because of numbers in the classes. So, then it is her "fault" not his. She doesn't think that any of the boys who have been bullying him will even notice.

As soon as I hung up the phone I was overwhelmed with gratitude for an answer to prayer. I feel very blessed that Heavenly Father is watching out for our children. I’m thankful to all who have been praying for TJ as well.

Marriage

2010-10-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

I have been in deep contemplation since yesterday just thinking about how to give correct or inspired advice to a friend about their marriage. I struggle with what to say and how to say it. It takes me a lot of time to ponder the situation to really see what I think is the best advice I could give a friend. I think what I have come up with is very basic and simple but it works.

First and foremost: make daily prayer a priority. Roll out of bed, if you have to, and begin your day with prayer. Through out the day stop and pray at those times when you need it or feel inspired. Pray where it's quiet. Pray where you can ponder and listen for guidance. Pray with an open heart and mind so that when you receive an answer you will have a desire to act upon it.

Second: MAKE the time to read your scriptures. I say MAKE because it's not easy to do this sometimes. Make it your priority and do it. One verse, a column, a page, or just five minutes. Whatever you need to do to get in your daily dose.

Third: prayerfully study the Marriage and Family Relations manual put out by the church. It's a fantastic book.

Fourth: prayerfully read "The Family; A Proclamation to the World". It tells what our roles are a women and men. Our rolls, as women and men, are unique and divinely appointed.

Fifth: talk to one another often. Open communication is the key to any relationship. Speak kind words. I can't stress that enough. Think of how your words would affect you if your spouse said them.

I am not an expert and I don't know everything about marriage relationships. I just know how important they are. If we take the time to work on changing ourselves instead of focusing on other's flaws, we will be much better for it in the end.

I am so thankful to be married to the best man I know. He is wonderful. He always supports me and is willing to help where needed. He is patient with my many flaws. He is my best friend. I am so thankful that my Father in Heaven blessed me with such a fantastic husband.

Fall is Here!

2010-10-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

The leaves are turning colors. Here and there you can see it. The air is cool and crisp. It makes me sigh a big sigh; a sigh of happiness.

Life is busier that it used to be. TJ is in middle school and scouts. Alex is in 5th grade and has decided he loves playing flag football. I glad it's temporary because the games are on Monday nights and I would prefer to have our Family Home evening on Monday nights. Now we are doing them on Sunday evenings.

This week we found the time in our crazy schedules to play a family game of UNO. It was fun. I sat back and watched and savored the moments while the kids were giggling and Daddy was being silly. He has been so busy trying to finish up his final class for his degree and getting everything straightened out at work that there hasn't been any time to just be together. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Soon the class will be over and he will have completed his degree! He is so excited.

It's this time of year when I think most about Maine and family. I love Maine in the fall. It's the most beautiful place on earth. Plus, family is there. That makes Maine even more special. Some day I'll be able to go visit when the leaves are bight yellow, red and orange. That's my wish.

This time of year always makes me think of my blessings:

A loving Father in Heaven
A Savior who loves us and died for us
a beautiful family
a fantastic husband
family far away
a wonderful home
vehicles that run
cute little puppy
the best friends in the world
the laughter of children
clothing, so much that it makes huge piles when it's dirty
toys, so many they seem to be everywhere
new friends
church

And so much more! These are in no particular order, just how I thought of them. Have a happy fall day!

Wonderful Weekend

2010-09-26T16:40:00.001-07:00

Today as I sit, wishing for something different to do, and tiring of Facebook, I decided I should blog. Last week Todd was in Ohio for the week. I was determined to get caught up on my house and it was the perfect time to do it.

I got in 3 days of exercising
completed all the kids' laundry
got the dishes all done up
worked on my calling
got dinner started before kids came home from school
helped with homework
completed dinners
went to Alex's football game and remembered all the necessities
got the boys to scouts and attended my Wednesday night meeting
felt great about what I had accomplished

Todd came home on Friday and this weekend has been a bit crazy. Toys are everywhere...I mean everywhere!! Boxes are strewn around the family room. Dishes were piled in both sides of the sink and all over the counters, stove and table. And I was about to go crazy! Luckily we had a special church activity for the Relief Society sisters in our Stake (Women's organization at church).

I was able to get out of the house and help complete some service projects for Warm Up Columbia. After which I was blessed to sit among these wonderful women, most I do not know yet but I felt of their spirits, and watch the Relief Society General Broadcast from Salt Lake. I adore listening to the General Relief Society presidency. They are awesome women who have been called to guide and direct us in our efforts in becoming more like Him.

I must confess, though, that my most favorite part was when our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, spoke to us. I absolutely love his sense of humor. I have admired this man since I was young enough to pay attention to General Conference talks. I love the stories he tells, I love his passion for the Gospel and his love for the Saints. I have always felt a great love for this man, whom our Loving Heavenly Father called to be our Prophet today. So, when he was sustained as Prophet of the Church it was easy for me to sustain him. What an amazing man he is. I can't wait to get the November Ensign to read the message he shared with us last night and refresh my memory.

He talked a lot about not judging others. If we spent more time focusing on making sure we were the type of people our Savior wants us to be, we wouldn't have any time left to judge others. Here is a little quote from his talk:

"My dear sisters, each of you is unique. You are different from each other in many ways. There are those of you who are married. Some of you stay at home with your children, while others of you work outside your homes. Some of you are empty-nesters. There are those of you who are married but do not have children. There are those who are divorced, those who are widowed. Many of you are single women. Some of you have college degrees; some of you do not. There are those who can afford the latest fashions and those who are lucky to have one appropriate Sunday outfit. Such differences are almost endless. Do these differences tempt us to judge one another?

Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” The Savior has admonished, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” I ask: Can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa—“No; we cannot.”"

This really made me think a lot about myself and search deep within to see where I may have made judgments when I should have been focusing on my own flaws instead. I love the quote President Monson used from Mother Teresa! It's amazing how love for others can change our outlook...and theirs as well.

Inside of each person is a spirit son or daughter of God. He loves them. He loves us.

I went away feeling uplifted and filled. I was able to get to know a few of the sisters in my new ward a little better. It was a great night. The wonderful weekend continued as I attended church meetings with my family this morning and enjoyed the lessons that were prepared and taught there. And it didn't stop there...

I went out with my new Visiting Teaching companion to see one of the sisters we are assigned to. Over the years I have learned that it is vital for women to have other women. It's so important to our wellbeing. We got lost on our way to this sister's home but eventually found our way to her sweet, comfortable home. There we visited and got to know each other a little more. We laughed and talked and shared stories.

So, when I arrived back home to the mess yet again, I sighed and decided it would just have to wait until tomorrow....when I can start all over again with the new routine I created last week....and get my home in order again. But I will have the wonderful spirit that filled my heart this weekend with me throughout the week to strengthen me and lift me and keep me going each day.

I am so thankful to be blessed to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. All the chaos of life seems less difficult with the knowledge of the gospel to guide our lives.

On with my Day!

2010-09-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Todd's 36th birthday. In his usual style, he had me laughing to start the day out. He was standing in front of the mirror, plucking out one white hair after another. "LOOK at this one! It's all squiggly, it's not even straight!..." Each time he pulled one out he would exclaim something new. "LOOK how WHITE this one is! It's as white as your shirt!" And the whole time he was plucking and wowing I was giggling! The signs of aging are beginning to show and yet we don't feel old. Okay, some times we feel old. We don't have the energy we once had, but our Spirits are young!

We were able to spend the morning of Todd's birthday in our first IEP meeting with the new Elementary School. What fun! They started out by telling us that they didn't understand how Alex even qualified for services in our previous school. As they continued and I stopped them and asked, "So if he doesn't qualify, what will happen to this child?" They could tell I was a bit distressed and quickly let us know that he could be put on a 504 plan which would allow for additional help. Whew, I thought, with a mental brush of my brow. I couldn't let Alex slip through the cracks. He has improved so much and needs to continue to improve.

So we moved on and decided what testing needed to be done for Alex and read through his IEP. Next we moved on to Max. His didn't take as long because Hyde Elementary has just done a bunch of testing for him at the end of the school year to assess his needs. We quickly determined what was needed there and moved on.

I think the one shocker was that there is no SpEd bus in the entire district. Todd nicely, but firmly, told them they needed to get one. I was chuckling inside. I don't enjoy driving them to and from school everyday and it does put a dent in our gas budget, but there is something I've noticed...During the small amount of time in the car I have a captive audience. Each day I ask each of the boys how their day went, what they liked about their day and if there was anything else they wanted to share. Each child gets his moment, uninterrupted. At least that's the rule. I remind them of the rule each day. I realized yesterday how much I enjoy the time, no matter how crazy, talking with the boys because once we hit that door they're done talking. They want to run off and play. So, even though it's a pain to drive them every day and walk Max to class, I think the benefits out weigh the negatives.

Max currently has a part-time one-on-one in the class room. She is there for the morning. We are concerned that once the student teacher, who is currently in Max's classroom, leaves there won't be any extra help in the afternoon. We have told them about the issues that can arise and so we wait...hoping that he will do just fine and they won't need any extra help.

We came away from the meeting feeling good, feeling like they would be taking care of our kids. It's nice to know that when your kids head off to school there are people there who care about them and their needs.

Since we have moved the one thing that I have struggled with is keeping up. The laundry is piled high all the time, the dishes are almost always piled in the sink and on the counter, the floors are in needs of being cleaned, the bathrooms are dirty, and I'm tired! I realized that I have less time now to take care of the home than I did before. Plus Todd comes home almost an hour later than he used to. By the time he gets home I should have dinner done, but I'm just barely getting kids finished with homework. Lyssa-Loo is teething and clingy. She would rather be on-the-go than at home. So I spend a large amount of time helping her to be happy, which I love. So, my question is, when is there any time to get anything done? I ask this with a smile on my face! I know that eventually we will move past this phase into a new one.

Today I am making more phone calls to find a new doctor. I keep praying that one will turn up, one that will be supportive, one who is perfect for our family.

We've moved!

2010-08-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been over a month now and we are more settled into our new home. I have not taken pictures yet. I am still trying to get used to the new schedule, new area, getting sleep, etc.

This is the start of the 3rd week of school for the boys. They are all enjoying school. Amazingly enough, they all love their teachers and love their schools. The transition to a new school has been much easier than I imagined. TJ absolutely LOVES middle school! He LOVES having a locker, moving from room to room and getting to know the kids. I challenged him one day to go up and introduce himself to someone that he thinks might become a good friend and part of the challenge was that he had to find out the person's name and tell me. So, he came home from school and said, "Hey Mom, ... Sam." And he giggled and walked away! He is maturing and growing up so fast! He now has a cell phone which he brings to school. He texts once he is on the bus in the morning and also on his way home. He loves to send texts to family. He is really enjoying the new responsibilities and privileges that come with growing up! Alex has already found a couple of friends. He was so worried that he wouldn't make friends easily, but he has. He has also signed up for Flag Football here. He begged me to let him do it. I was shocked to find out that it's free. We only needed a couple of items for personal equipment and then it's free. How awesome! Max is adjusting well so far. He seems to like his teachers and is doing pretty well with a part-time one-on-one. He is making little friends all over the school, just like he did at Hyde! Colin is absolutely loving school. His teacher is so sweet and perfect for him! He didn't like kindergarten, but he loves first grade and he too has found a couple of good friends already! We have been so blessed to feel so loved so quickly here!

Our new Ward is wonderful. I feel very comfortable with them. The kids, with the exception of Max, transitioned really well at church. Max had a really hard time. He would run, kick, hit, resist, and scream when it was time for Primary. It was really hard...for him...and for me. He hasn't had fits like that in a really long time. For that I am truly grateful! At 8 years old, he's getting really strong. When a fit comes, I almost need Todd to hold him down....but I'm still stronger right now! :) The fit throwing lasted the first 2-3 weeks and now he goes right to class without a problem. What a blessing! We have already sung in the choir, have new callings, and are making friends.

But Almost everything went backwards with this move. I was prepared for ALL the things that usually go wrong when you relocate, so those things didn't go wrong! LOL! A funny one...I filled out the form to forward our mail and the post man took. It got lost and we weren't getting out mail. Many phone calls later I found out I could fill out a new form at our local post office. That finally did the trick. Thank goodness!

I've been on the search for a new doctor. I think that is one of the hardest changes of all. We had a fabulous doctor in St. Joseph who is very supportive and wonderful.

I called in advance to set up an appointment with a new doctor. I told the secretary that I needed to find a doctor who is supportive if opting out of immunizations and she assured me that this doctor would. So...today we went to a doctor. The office staff is sweet and pleasant. The doctor seemed nice and pleasant at first. Listened to everything I had to say and asked what the purpose of the was. I answered and then he very politely and with a practiced soft tone told me that my not immunizing was a very poor choice. His body language spoke MUCH louder than his words. He continued to explain that there were many diseases that my children could get that are deadly. I nodded and told him that I understood that. Then he shook his head and continued to explain that there have been larger outbreaks of diseases and that those who are contracting them are children who have not been immunized. I understand that as well. I finally smiled and as politely and calmly as I could I said, "I did ask, before I made the appointment, if you would be supportive of my not immunizing some of my children. Your office staff assured me that you did. If you are not comfortable supporting this decision I am very willing to find a doctor who does." He brushed me off with a non-visible roll of the eyes (it was felt!!) and asked why I chose to opt out. I explained that I have a son with ADHD and one with Autism and that Bi-polar runs in the family. He apparently did not feel those were good enough reasons and proceeded to tell me that there are no accurate studies to support the idea that immunizations have anything to do with Autism. Well, as you can probably guess, I plastered a smile on my face, chatted sweetly with the office staff and took Alex to school. Inside my head I was grumbling and growling and trying to focus on what Alex was telling me as I drove.

Talking to my Mom helped me calm down and bit and then I decided it was time to blog. I am now on the search again for a different doctor. I am not a fan of being uncomfortable with a doctor. And HE was certainly not comfortable with my decision. I do not enjoy being made to feel small, and he had the kind of personality that could easily make you feel poorly with out saying the words. I feel for his family! I wanted so badly to tell him off....but that would have been un-Christlike. I wish people would stop being so closed minded. We need to appreciate each others differences and NOT treat them badly just because they think differently. So, I will calmly look for another doctor! I pray that Heavenly Father with put on in my path that will work well for our family.

AAAAGGHH!!!!!!

2010-07-16T11:00:00.001-07:00

The time is finally getting closer! It has taken FOREVER for it to come. But it's almost here! Hallelujah!!! One more week and we are on our way to our new home. Our poor kids are just ... DONE!

Things are falling neatly into place! We are so excited. I can't wait to go to girls night tonight! I need time away. I need to get rejuvenated again. I will miss these awesome friends here.

One More Week

2010-07-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

Only one more week until we pack up the uhaul and head to our new home. There are so many emotions running around in me right now. I want to see EVERYONE before I leave and yet and I don't want to have to say goodbye. I don't enjoy goodbyes. I never have. But this place have become my home. It is the first place I have felt at home since we moved away from Maine. These wonderful people have become my family away from family.

It's almost as bad as when I had to say goodbye to my Mom and Dad the first time. That was gut wrenching ... emotional ... and I didn't enjoy it one bit. It was harder than I ever thought it would be. Now ... I have grown and matured and I deal a lot better with separation than I did then, but it's still so sad.

I'm so thankful for technology and being able to stay in touch. And I know I will make new friends where I am going. It's going to be an awesome adventure!!
We
are
ready.
The kids are tired of waiting. I'm tired of packing!! LOL! But most of the house is packed. There's not much more for me to do. Meals have become ... interesting. There's just not a lot to make!! Prepared food, which I hate, is so easy right now. Sandwiches, mac and cheese, more sandwiches ... I can't wait to unpack my new kitchen!!!

Let the ADVENTURE BEGIN!

A great day!

2010-07-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

We all have those days. Those that stand out. Those that put a smile on our faces. Well, yesterday was one of those days for me. It wasn't much, but it makes me smile!

A couple of fun things happened yesterday. Todd was home for lunch and Colin asked him to come outside for a minute. So, he went out and Colin asked him to hold on to his bicycle seat for a second. Colin got on the bike and started pedaling and then yelled to Todd, who apparently was holding on for TOO long, to let go. Todd let go and away Colin went across the bumpy lawn. He did that a few times and then called to me. He wanted me to see what he had accomplished.

He was riding with training wheels just the other day but they broke. I guess he was determined to ride it himself!

So, I went out with my plate of lunch after Todd left and sat on the step. I held onto the seat to steady it and let go as soon as he started pedaling. He would crash into the fence, swing set or trees and turn around and come back for more. Next thing I know, he tells me not to hold on and that he wanted to try to do it himself. It only took a few tries and he was off on his own. Now all he wants to do is go outside to practice riding by himself. He is so proud of himself and so am I. What awesome determination he has! He set his mind to it, and he got it done! Amazing. If only more people had that kind of determination AND confidence in their abilities!!

Alyssa was next to put a smile on my face. She asked to run with the puppy. She had seen us all doing it and wanted to do the same. She held onto the leash and kept repeating, "Come on!" to Canela! Of course Lyssa only says "come", but that's okay. Canela wasn't quite sure what to think and got dragged a couple of times, but it was so stinking cute to see Lyssa walking the dog and TRYING to run.

Last night after we were done with our dinner we were playing with Alyssa and all of us were on the floor rolling a ball around to each other and then the dog joined in chasing the ball. We talked, laughed and just had a good time. It was a good day! Good time spent together! We need more of those moments. A day for smiles!

Boxes

2010-07-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

Boxes, boxes and more boxes. They just keep stacking up. Sorting, organizing, de-cluttering, then more boxes, boxes boxes.

Do you ever feel like it's never ending? No matter how much you go through and sort and throw away, there always seems to be more stuff to go through. I'm getting close to the end and I am so thankful! I have some kitchen stuff to pack, food storage to box up, and clothing, bedding and toys to organize and stuff into yet another box. Aren't boxes the most wonderful invention!!

I am constantly daydreaming about our new house ... where I will put things ... will it all fit ... how I will do things differently ... the new kitchen, floors, appliances, light fixtures, bathrooms ... I am totally excited!!

I think I need to get to bed early tonight. I need some extra sleep.

I am thankful! Thankful for all of Heavenly Father's wonderful blessings in our lives. I am thankful for how everything keeps falling into place. I am thankful for Todd's excitement about his new job. I am thankful for awesome friends whom I will miss dearly. I am thankful that Heavenly Father placed these friends in my path. They have blessed my life immensely. I am thankful for a wonderful family.

I feel blessed.

I am thankful for boxes!!

Back from our trip!

2010-07-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

We spent the last week with family. Some we hadn't seen in 8 years and others 10. What a fun time it was...minus the close quarters!! We were packed like sardines into a trailer with a total of 22 people. Sleeping was fun! Bodies we all over the place! When Todd's parents and brother came over for meals, there were 30 people. We had a pretty good system and it went fairly smoothly most of the time.

I surely wouldn't want to live like that all the time, but it was fun for a short time.

The only time anyone had issues was when I went to take group pictures. Yikes!! But in the end it all worked out just fine.

While we were there Will, Todd's oldest brother, rescued a puppy that was going to be taken to the pound. I fell in love. And so did my family. Todd as well. That was a shocker to me. We ended up bringing home a 3 month old Chihuahua/Terrier (we think) mixed puppy. She is so sweet! Our cat is 3 times her size!!! That should be interesting. The best part...she's too small to knock us over, too small to jump on counters or tables, and too small to make a huge mess when she poops!! Haha! We are excited!

Now on to the packing!

Time is getting short

2010-06-26T05:22:00.000-07:00

Time keeps getting shorter. I keep looking at the calendar the the days keep slipping away. Until this week it felt like our move date would never come. Now it feels like it's coming too quickly. Ugh!

I have been doing tons of laundry so I can pack it away. I need to pack up my kitchen, but can't decide what to pack. This is the part of packing I don't really like. I can be very organized ..... until it gets really close and then I have a hard time knowing WHAT to pack and when. It's more a product of stress than anything else. I consider myself to be a pretty well organized person. And then the stress hits and messes that all up!

Now I need to pack up the office supplies. I want everything to be packed up by the time everyone shows up to load the moving truck. I have been involved in helping people move, in the past, where they had not packed anything at all. Talk about crazy. I just couldn't wrap my head around that. And I was a teenager then. I found that we get a lot more help when we have everything packed in boxes and ready to go when the crew arrives. It makes life so much more simple .... for everyone!

So, today we will spend getting rid of all the trash that is leftover from the previous owner. He left lot of junk. Every year we have taken loads to the dump. Today will be our last one. Dealing with another person's trash is no fun at all. I am hoping to leave the house in much better condition than when we moved in. Floors will be vacuumed, cupboards will be wiped out, bathrooms will be clean, and the garage will be swept.

Even though I'm excited and thrilled about our move .... I am nervous. Starting over can be a little scary sometimes. The questions roll through my mind .... will I find a dear close friend in the new area .... will I be able to find my way around quickly .... will my children make friends quickly and feel at home .... I guess we will find out soon!

Todd's not done yet!

2010-06-24T07:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we were given some very disappointing news. Todd needs one more class to graduate. He hung his head and sighed. He's been working so hard to get his degree and now it seems there's a road block on every side. It shouldn't be this hard, but he transferred schools several times. He sent an appeal to MO Western last week and we prayed hard that it would be approved. Yesterday we found out that is was denied. He has to take yet another class. Our prayers did not fall on deaf ears! Heavenly Father sees the bigger picture and knows what we truly need. If the appeal had not been denied we wouldn't have heard about another waiver he could get.

Todd works for the Air Force. He's in the Air National Guard. Currently he is working in HR and does not enjoy it. That doesn't even begin to describe how unhappy he is in his job. I'm being nice. They were very kind when the man came back from Washington, D.C. and took his old position back, Todd's job in CE. Instead of getting rid of Todd they found him a new position. THAT was a WONDERFUL blessing! Especially in this economy! I have reminded Todd and myself of that several times. We are truly blessed.

He got a new job in Jefferson City, still with the Air Force, working with the Partnership Program with Panama. He will be utilizing his Spanish daily, which he LOVES to do. Okay, love isn't a strong enough word either. He gets giddy when he uses his Spanish skills. He's like a little boy in a candy shop!

The new job is an Officer's position and is funded by the Army. They don't usually let enlisted hold an officer's position. There is a waiver for that!! So, we are waiting on the waiver.

Once he has his degree he can go to Officer's school (AMS - Academy of Military Science) and then he will be an officer and can hold the position.

The new waiver we found out about yesterday would allow him to be an officer without a degree, with conditions that he finish his degree within a certain amount of time. We are praying HARD that the waivers are signed!!

I just got a call from Todd!!! His new Commander is willing to sign the degree waiver!!!!!! Hallelujah!! Prayers are being answered!!

When Heavenly Father closes a door....he truly does open a window! I mentioned to Todd yesterday that maybe we needed this trial so that we could find the new waiver. There is always a reason, we just can't always understand it a the time.

The new and last class he is looking into will possibly be August through October of this year and AMS in January 2011. Please continue sending up your prayers in our behalf! We appreciate all the love and support!

Home Schooling

2010-06-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

This topic has been floating around in my mind for the past couple of days. I have a handful of friends who Home School their children successfully. They are amazing women, wives, mothers and many other things too! Their ability to teach their children daily in addition to the normal everyday tasks is inspiring.

There are those individuals out there who think that a child who is home schooled will come out socially awkward. I think it's just the opposite. A lot of times these kids come out more well rounded and more intelligent. If you haven't noticed, there are kids in every public school who are socially awkward. I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not a child sent to public school or is home schooled at all.

I have been frustrated to find myself in conversations with others who very vocally condemn and degrade those who choose Home Schooling. Sometimes they have the gall to say these things, unknowingly, in front of my dear Home Schooling friends. I cringe inwardly when people talk down about a choice that others have made. It frustrates me and I wish I could bring their attention to the fact that they have just said something offensive and hurtful.

While I agree that we all have our opinions I also feel that we need to be careful about how we share them. I have very strong opinions about many things, but I try very hard to say them in a kind manner. Now, I am not perfect at it, and can say that I have offended my fair share of people, but I work on it constantly.

I had once thought I would home school my children. I was very certain that they would NOT attend public school. I had very strong opinions about sending them to such vile places and refused to think that I would do otherwise. Then a dear friend asked me, in the most kind and loving manner, if I had prayed about my decision to home school. I had not. I didn't think I needed to.

I pray about every major decision in my life, why wouldn't I think to pray about whether or not to home school my children? I took some time to ponder and pray and was blessed with a very clear answer.

All of my children have been attending public school. I've found that I don't have the temperament to handle home schooling. Sending my kids to school has been a blessing. Two of my children have needed extra help or special services to help them along. If they had been at home, I wouldn't have been able to give them that.

To all the successful Home Schooling Mom's out there, I salute you! You are amazing.

Who we are

2010-06-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today I am so proud of my children. I'm proud of the people they are. There are times when I think I want to strangle my children...don't we all! Most of the time I enjoy them. Today I feel extraordinarily blessed to have them.

There are times that I am disappointed in the way my children choose to act. I know they have been taught better. But most of the time I am pleased with them. Today I am grateful that they are so creative, funny, happy and full of life. I'm grateful that for the most part they are respectful towards others, they are kind and considerate.

A large part of why they are the people they are is due to our beliefs: Our knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father who cares for us, and blesses us daily. Our knowledge of a Savior who died for us, so we can repent and be clean and return to live with our Father again one day. A knowledge of the purpose of this life and why we are here.

Our beliefs help to shape us, and mold us into the people we are meant to become. I can thank my wonderful parents for giving me a firm foundation to build upon. It has truly shaped and molded me into the person I am today.

Vaccinations

2010-06-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

I just received a bunch of emails from the local Autism support group. There are a few moms who are looking for doctors who will administer the MMR vaccine in separate shots. In some of the replies, of course, there are articles attached talking about how safe the vaccines are. I wanted to share my opinion with these Moms but realized that I have really strong opinions on this subject and do not want to offend any of them. So, I decided to blog about it! Here are my thoughts:

I think whether immunizations are safe is up to interpretation. They are safe for many people, but not everything is safe for every person. People are allergic to medications that others can take with no problems at all. My son has an intolerance to wheat, gluten, dairy, and casein. I can tolerate them just fine, but he will become sick.

Many doctors say that the immunizations do not cause Autism, but there is also a lot of evidence that suggests that it might be a trigger that causes the symptoms to come out. From what I understand, those who have Autism are genetically predisposed for it. That means that anything can trigger it. For my son, it was falling 7 feet and hitting his head. For some of my friends, it was the immunizations. I have one such friend who's son started having seizures the day he got his first MMR shot. Coincidence...I think not.

I have been blessed with a fabulous MD who fully supports not vaccinating my children. I have one with Autism and one with ADHD and even he feels that it wouldn't be safe for them. He highly recommended that I do not get them immunized until later in life.

The way my doctor explained it was that the dose in the shot is even more than what a normal adult would need. That's a huge amount for a tiny body. They give these to babies...in a cocktail of 2-4 different ones. No wonder our children end up with fevers and such afterwards. Now, I know some children don't have any problem at all. But that doesn't mean that others won't have problems.

Anyway, I'm just glad to know that we can opt out if we feel that it's right for our family. It's a hard decision, but I can say that out of my five children the healthiest one is the last, the one I didn't immunize at all. Lyssa has not had one immunization. She has only visited the doctor once in her 20 months. She has had a slight cold twice, but was never as sick as the boys always got at this age. It's amazing how sick Max was at a year and 2 years old. He was constantly sick and constantly had ear infections. It was horrible. We went through several different kinds of antibiotics for him in a year's time. They wanted to put tubes in, but I didn't feel it was right. I'm so glad I listened to the Spirit.

I wish I understood back then that I had many more options! Now I know.

Now they are giving the option to give the MMRV. It includes Measles, Mumps, Rubella and now the LIVE Chicken pox virus. I instantly get shivers down my spine. It isn't right for me and my family. I do know many who have prayed and know that their children need the vaccines and I support them whole heartedly. We can never make another person's decisions and we can NEVER know what will be right for another individual. It just isn't our place. I'm glad I only have to make the decisions for my family.

May the Spirit guide us in all our decisions.

Be Positive!

2010-06-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

So many times we are too hard on ourselves. We only see those things we need to improve upon. We try each day to be more kind, more patient, more productive, more loving, more understanding. These and other qualities are noble and good, but do we neglect to see the good we do.

I remember a time when all I could see were the negative things about myself and I felt terrible. I was depressed. Todd made a good point. He told me to look back in my life and think about where I was in my teens, or early twenties. He told me not to look at how much I needed to change but how far I had come. Such wise words of wisdom. If we only focus on all the things we need to do to become perfect we would never see what our Father in Heaven sees. He sees our progress. He sees how we have changed over the years to become the wonderful person we are today. There will always be things to improve upon. That's part of life. I believe we need to take the time to see all the good we do. It will strengthen us and give us courage.

Satan does not want us to be happy and one of the ways that he brings us down is to temp us to focus on our flaws.

Remember to take the time today to think about all the good things you have done, and then make a plan to do more good.

Crazy

2010-06-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

It seems the only time I think of something I want to blog about is when I'm busy getting other things done. I had gotten comfortable in my life here in St. Joe. I have good friends. I am familiar with the area. I can find my way around fairly well. I'd say I'm pretty happy.

Selling and buying houses at the same time can be such a pain. It has gone very well for us, thank goodness. There's a lot of paperwork and a lot of stress....worrying about whether or not the loan for the new house is going to get finished in time. I really don't relish the idea of being temporarily homeless. Sure, we have family and friends who could and probably would help us out if that happened, but it's not something I want to do.

I packed most of the house so we could show the house to perspective buyers. The house was clean and perfect all the time. Once the house sold, I didn't have to keep it perfect and it's not.

I hit the summer slump last week. I have never liked summer vacation. It's hard. I spend the whole time frustrated because the house is mess. I stay up too late trying to find a moment of kid-free time to myself to recooperate. I wake up too early to get kids onto the summer school bus. I'm so busy I can't find the time to exercise. And the cycle begins! So, Monday I got up with determination to exercise. And I did. Thank goodness because I needed the energy. Today I did the same and it turned out really good considering I spend most of my mid morning doing the budget. It's done. It looks good. I'm happy.

I have learned something about myself...a severe lack of sleep + a lack of exercising = a grouchy Mommy! Why do I allow myself to get into this summer rut each year? I know it's coming and yet I do it every time. I am determined to change this so that I can be in charge of my mood instead of my Sleep deprived, non-energetic self.

I am also happier when I make time to spend with other women. Why do I put off taking the opportunity to spend time with my friends? Good question! I get so wrapped up in what needs to get done that I neglect the part of myself that needs to get away. That has to stop!

I went to Kansas City yesterday to see Dana and the kids. We chatted and the kids played. We women need that time with other women. All women...young and old....single and married. We need to make time to spend with other women.

So, life is crazy right now...packing, cleaning, laundry, packing some more, papers to sign, emails to reply to, repairs to do, more packing, Scout camp, taking care of the family...etc., etc., etc. It will calm down again someday, but for now, it's just crazy. The countdown has begun and we inch closer and closer to closing day. We have 5 1/2 weeks until we load up the u-haul. Our last night here we'll camp out on the floor. The next morning we'll close on this house and then drive three hours to Jefferson City to close on the new house. It's exciting and scary all rolled into one. But for now...this is life. Crazy and all!

Fun Stories

2010-05-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today....I'm standing on a stool painting yet another wall and I hear,"I done...I done", followed by some mild fussing. I hollered out to Alex and asked him to check on Alyssa. He says, "Oh no...she spilled the milk." I came out of the bedroom to find Alyssa sitting at the table with about a quart of Silk soy milk poured all over herself, the table, chair and floor. No wonder she was done!! Not fun to be all wet and sticky. LOL!

Yesterday Todd told Max that is was chilly out and Max said, "It's not Chili out Dad...Chili is miles away!" What a crack up!

We drove to the Capitol of Missouri for Alex's fourth grade field trip on Thursday. Jefferson City is about 3 hours away and it's beautiful. I drove behind the bus that Alex was on, on the way there. Then Alex chose to ride with me for the ride back home. Another lady chose to ride with me, which ended up being rather nice. I don't know any parents from school, so I was a little nervous, but it worked out great. The little girl riding home with us Thursday was a chatterbox. She kept making silly noises and saying silly things. Alex, who is usually doing something similar was unusually quiet in the back seat. Finally Alex said, "Does anyone have a mega sized cork?" I had to try so hard not to laugh!!!! Has he heard himself lately? LOL! What a riot!

Kids are so fun. They can make you laugh, cry and want to pull your hair out too!! But most of the time, they bring joy.

Sunday Bliss

2010-04-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

Every time I finish reading a good book it runs continuously through my mind....for hours and then sometimes days. I love reading. I love writing. Both are things that help me de-stress and relax. I just finished reading The Maze Runner by James Dashner. It was amazing. It kept me wondering...what in the world was going to happen...how were they ever going to get out...when would they find out the truth...when would they be back with their families. Questions kept tumbling through my mind each time I would sit down to read. Slowly...carefully...the author reveals pieces of the truth...what's really going on. It was never dull...never boring...and very exciting. I can't wait for the next book to come out.

I love Sundays. They are a great day to just sit and relax. I don't allow myself much down time during the week. There is just too much to accomplish in not enough time. By the time my head hits the pillow at night I'm so tired that I can't sleep. Thoughts race through my head. Painting needs to be done. Packing needs to happen. Cleaning isn't happening like it should be. Stuff if everywhere. There's just not enough time in a day. And then when I should be sleeping and getting my strength back for the next day, I can't turn my brain off. Sometimes I wish there was a switch. Just flip it off....and fall asleep...with a clear mind.

Today emotions were on the surface. It started first thing this morning. I was probably just tired. Sleeping in a bedroom where everything is a wreck is less than peaceful. 3/4 of the wallpaper is off the walls now though. Tomorrow I get to finish the rest of it and start mudding the holes and sanding. Anyway, I was asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting for today. So, I had a talk prepared and I was also in charge of teaching Sharing Time to the Primary children. I spent a lot of time praying for guidance this week. I know I couldn't do it all myself. That's for sure.

We got to church on time and got the family in their seats and I headed up from to sit. I think the worst part of giving a talk in church is the waiting. Then I noticed that there were no tissues. GREAT! I am a blubbering ball of tears when I give a talk. I know that about myself...and I finally have accepted that fact! I can't change it, so why try. As I sat there, trying NOT to think about my talk, I realized that they pulled TJ up front to pass the sacrament...for his first time. Talk about getting a crash course. Learn by doing. As I pondered how scared I would be if I were thrown into that task without forewarning I realized that this was a blessing for him. I try to verbally prepare him for everything. What happens when life throws you a curve ball? There's no time for a pep talk from Mom. You just step up and do your duty, right. This is exactly what TJ needs. He needs to learn to be prepared. The older boys took him under their wing and guided him and helped him in his task. Yeah, he was nervous, but he did it...and he did a great job. So, as I watched my oldest son pass the sacrament I again was moved to tears. I furiously wiped at my face, trying to salvage the mess. But, I should have known, it was just going to get worse.

The youth speaker spoke...and it went by so quickly and then it was my turn. I got up and gave my prepared 12 minute talk. I love how the Spirit works. It guides us to say what needs to be said. I blubbered and sniffled and wiped...and there were no tissues to help me out. Believe me, I thought about lifting my sleeve and wiping, just to stop the dripping. How annoying. But I survived. After I sat down, it took forever for my hands to stop sweating, and my nose to stop dripping and my eyes to stop running. Once it stopped I calmed my feet and sat fairly still, my foot swaying back and forth. Can't stop moving!

Sharing time went off without a hitch. The children were engaged, they listened, they answered, they participated. It was wonderful. Again, it is awesome when the Spirit guides you...you can teach! I love it!

The only sad part of my day is when Alyssa gets hurt or cries...she no long wants me. I stopped nursing her when I had to get a tooth pulled just over a week ago. I couldn't take the pain and had to use the medication to help me get through. After a week without nursing she started getting angry with me. Instead of wanting me for comfort now, she wants Daddy and even TJ. It breaks my heart. It hurts and I wish I could go back to nursing her again. I hope it will eventually pass and that she will be able to find comfort in me once again. I can only hope.

Now, on to the rest of my restful day. I love having a day to just chill. The house is more quiet. The crazy stress of the weekdays is gone...for a moment or two. I'm going to go enjoy it now!

Moving

2010-04-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well, for those of you who have not heard, we are moving. Todd got a new job in Jefferson City. A job he will absolutely love. A job that is still Military. A job that is giving him the opportunity to become an Officer. He is thrilled and so happy. Therefore, I am thrilled and very happy for us. He will be working with the Partnership Program with Panama. He has a very impressive title that I can't for the life of me remember! He is amazing. He took the AFOQT (Air Force Officer Qualifications Test) and passed the first time. It's a very hard test. Yeah Todd! He has appealed to MO Western State University and they approved his appeal and therefore will be graduating at the end of Spring semester. What a huge blessing.

We have begun packing like crazy, throwing things out and giving things away. Our living room has been repainted, and rearranged. I love it. Wish I had done it a long time ago. Our hallway is now painted. The garage is organized and has a ton of stacks of boxes. As Max said yesterday when he followed me into the garage, "Holy Boxes!" The stacks will only get bigger! We are going to remove the wallpaper in our bedroom and paint it this week along with Alyssa's room. So, if you don't see or hear much from me, that is why. I am crazy busy!

We are excited and sad all in one. We love St. Joe. We love the people. We love the ward here. It has become our home. I never thought I would be able to say that, but it did. Moving will be very hard for me, but I am very optimistic. I am looking forward to making new friends, having a new home to decorate my way, and to just experience what ever it is that Heavenly Father has in store for us.

Dear Friends

2010-03-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

A dear friend's blog post really made me think. I spend far too much time in my house, cleaning and cooking or taking care of children or reading or whatever. When do I get out and spend time with my dear friends? I have been blessed with many friends at Church. They are my family away from family. Lately I feel like I have lost touch with a lot of them. I stay at home far too much....too busy to do anything else. There is always something that just can't wait until later....but couldn't it?

We don't know each other as well as we should. I think about the beginning of the Church and how the sisters did everything together. They gardened together, they taught each other, they sewed together, they raised children together...They relied on one another far more than we do now. But I think they knew something that sometimes we forget. We need each other. We need to spend time with one another. Every time I allow myself to get out and enjoy the company of other good women I come home feeling better....lifted up....my burdens lighter.

The Savior can't be here, in person, to listen but he can send a dear friend in His place with a listening ear. He can't help take care of our children, but can create a wonderful friend with whom you feel safe leaving your children. He usually lifts our hearts by sending us a treasured friend.

Are we taking the time to sincerely get to know others? To create lasting friendships? Do we ask questions in conversation just for conversations sake or do we truly care? I try to care. I want to know what is going on in the lives of others so that I might be able to be of help in some way. If I can bring comfort I want to be able to. And then when I need it, they will be there for me. But if I don't get to know these women they won't feel comfortable sharing their lives with me. If we don't ask questions sincerely and get to know others, then we will never be able to reach out when someone needs us...in answer to a prayer, whether spoken or just felt.

I truly believe that we can be an answer to someone's prayer.

Let's start fresh

2010-03-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

It's a new day, new week and I am ready! I am going to do better today listening to my children. I am going to get more laundry folded and put away. I am going to say kind things to my family and think before I speak.

I am not always very patient with my family. I wish I were more so, but I'm not. Having OCD can be very difficult at times, because I expect too much from others. My expectations have decreased dramatically since having children though. I just know that there are not enough hours in a day to complete everything that I want to have complete. My house can not be perfect all the time. And right now...it rarely is perfect! Having five kids just does that to a person! I have to not worry about it!

I have done a lot of looking withing myself this last week. Pondering. Trying to figure out how to improve our home. What I realized, silly me, is that it all starts with me. They all take cues from Mom. Even Dad takes cues from Mom. If I am tired and grouchy, guess what...they are grouchy. If I am relaxed and just chillin' out...they are too. For the most part anyway.

So, after a rough morning getting the kids ready for school, I decided that it is all mental and I NEED to change the way I look at things. I need to be more positive, more patient. I need to look for the happiness around me. I need to point out all the good things my kids do and say. So, I am going to begin today. I am going to do better. Be a better person and try to teach my kids to be better people too.

Okay...here goes....

Tender Mercies

2010-03-05T12:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, so we all can find our Tender Mercies if we look. Yesterday after having a migraine all day and taking care of a very fussy little lady, I handed her to Todd and headed to the hall bathroom to get something accomplished. I started patching up the holes in the walls and sprayed the ugly border down with some vinegar. I thought, maybe this border will come off...I'll at least try. So, I was sanding, and mudding and spraying up a storm. And then the borders peeled off rather quickly. Not only that, but once I got them removed I was able to scrape the glue of the wall too. YES! The wall is all smooth! Hooray! My spirits lifted and I finished the job and went to make supper.

It's amazing how just that once small thing can make you feel so much better. Once of the Lord's Tender Mercies. I don't think I could have taken anymore frustration yesterday and He knew it. For that I am thankful!

The gift of sight

2010-03-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

I am thankful today for the gift of sight. We went to pick up Max's new glasses tonight and on the way home the sunset was beautiful. Scattered clouds, some in wisps, some in clumps. Blues, pinks, oranges and purples. Golden glows across the tree tops. What a pretty sight! I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for blessing me with these tiny gifts that bring joy. Just being able to get out of the house after sitting with a sick baby for two days was a blessing...and then I got to see this wonderful sight and share it with two of my boys.

Snuggle time

2010-03-01T17:39:00.000-08:00

Oh the sweet, sweet joy of holding a baby. I just love when my little ones climb onto my lap and lay their heads on my shoulder and snuggle in. It is healing, it is uplifting, it makes me happy. They get all warm and cozy and your spirit speaks to theirs as you snuggle in close.

I wish the snuggles came more often than they do. I will take them when they come, and soak them up while I can! My babies have not been big snugglers, so it is truly a gift when they choose to find comfort in just being in my arms.

Today my little Ladybug is sick. She is snuggling and warm. She has red, rosy cheeks from laying on me. It makes me sad to see my babies feel sick, but I haven't minded that she just wants me to sit and hold her. So, HGTV here I come! I got to hold and snuggle my sweet little girl while I indulged on one of my secret addictions! Okay, it's not so secret, but it truly would be an addiction if I allowed it to be. I love to watch all of the redesign ideas. It makes my gears turn round and round!!

So, even though the reason Lyssa is snuggling is due to feeling quite yucky, I still have enjoyed the blissful moments of snuggle time when our spirits have bonded. It truly is a gift. Have you had your snuggle time lately?

I feel the Spring Fever coming on!

2010-02-26T16:51:00.000-08:00

I know the snow is still covering the ground. The temperatures is still low and it doesn't feel like spring quite yet, but I am itching to start my spring cleaning. I could be because of all this talk of possibly having to move to a new house and needing to get this house ready to sell. I see cobwebs everywhere, and fingerprints smeared on the walls, toy marks on the floors and muddy doggy prints on the linoleum. It doesn't help that I have been sick and couldn't do much of anything for 2 full days. That makes me want to go nuts! I am finally feeling a bit better and I just want to be 100% so that I can get out and do things and clean my house and.....

You name it...there are a thousand things I could be doing. I tried out a new recipe tonight too. I love to bake and I have refrained because I have been doing Weight Watchers and didn't want to screw up my success. But...alas...the muffin tins are calling to me....

So, Todd applied for a new job. A job that he would absolutely LOVE. A job that would require him to use his Spanish speaking abilities frequently. A job that could potentially mean better pay. A job that would mean that we have to move away from our wonderful beloved home, and friends in Saint Joseph, MO and move to an area near Jefferson City, MO.

Sniffle....sniffle...

Okay...I've done my crying for now. It makes me sad, but I can't stand seeing the sad countenance of my wonderful husband when he comes home from a job he doesn't enjoy. He goes each day because he knows that he needs to. He goes because it is his responsibility. He is wonderful. He comes home and tries so hard to keep his job at work, but when I can see it in his face...he is sad at work...it makes me want to cry. I want to see my husband happy at work again.

I asked him to pray about what to do and I left it in his hands and told him when he decided, then he could bring it to me and we could pray together.

Do I want to move...heavens no. But if the Lord wants us to move then He will make it happen. He will provide the way for us to do this. As Nephi said, "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7)

If we are meant to move, then the Lord will provide the way and everything will fall neatly into place. I have seen it happen so many time. I have great faith that it will happen again if we are meant to go.

I also have faith that He will help ease the sadness that will come from leaving my wonderful friends. He eased my sadness when I had to leave my family behind in Maine. He will do it again.

I am so thankful to be so blessed. I am thankful for a wonderful Husband, for loving parents who taught me the gospel, for extended family who love and support us, for 5 awesome children who constantly teach me to be a better person, and for the most wonderful friends who love me for who I am; who accept me and forgive me of my faults; who are always there for me. I am truly blessed.

Before we know it the snow will be melted away, new grass will begin to sprout, the birds will again fill the trees, new life will emerge, and warm weather will appear. And then......it will get really really really HOT!!!

Enjoy each day. Find joy in each moment. For we are all blessed!

Never Say Never!!!

2010-02-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

I have learned over the last few years that it is not a good thing to say I will Never do something because inevitably I end up doing it. Then I chuckle to myself...lesson learned...and do the thing I said I would never do. I'll give some examples. I have a wonderful friend who bought a house and it was a split level with the two car garage as part of the basement and in the back yard sat an above ground pool.

#1 - I said I would never buy a house where the garage was a part of the basement because it takes out a lot of storage space. Good point...but the house we currently own is almost exactly the same setup as my friend's home.

Never say never!

#2 - I said I would never buy a house with a pool in the backyard because it would be too much work. Yup...it is a lot of work...but our kids love our pool!

Never say never!

There is a Tim McGraw song that says Never say Never and I completely identify with it!

Next item up for examination...I have another dear sweet friend who nursed her babies for a much longer time than I ever have. Her youngest was nine months old and she couldn't leave him with anyone because he would cry so much. I've told her this before...so this is not news to her! I said I would never have a child who was so attached to me that I couldn't leave them with anyone. LOL!

#3 - I had my little girl about 15 months ago. I chose not to immunize her and one of the doctor's recommendations was that I should nurse her until she was 2 years old. She is now 15 months old and is still nursing, but the best part of all is that I can't leave her with much of anyone without her screaming. It's terrible. She isn't even comforted by Todd, much of the time. And this friend of mine just laughs at me.

Never say Never!

Why do we make such rash judgments? I see how is it so silly and yet I will do it so quickly. For one...it is being judgmental of others and the choices they are making and then for another it is unkind. So I am trying really hard to remember not to say those words..."I'm never going to do that".

One of the hardest decisions I have had to make came recently. I have fought it. I have talked several times about how I would NEVER do it. And here I am again. Doing what I said I wouldn't. I have felt very hypocritical. I still feel badly about having to make this decision, but I know that it is right.

We have a son, Alex, who has ADHD. We have tried every remedy that I could find. Every supplement that I could afford. Even the gluten free/casein free diet was tried for six months. Each of these items would work for a time and then stop working. Alex has a really low self esteem. He will tell you he doesn't think he can do things. He doesn't think that he is very smart at all. He thinks he can't read very well. He doesn't have very many friends at school. This year is the first year that his grades have been really sliding. In the past he had A's, B's and a few C's. I figured that was pretty good considering that he was struggling. That's average. So, I continued trying the natural remedies.

This school year, however, he started out doing a fantastic job at school and gradually everything has begun slipping. He was almost kicked off the bus for bothering other children relentlessly. The Principal and I worked together and he was able to bring his MP3 player on the bus so that he would leave the other kids alone. Thankfully that worked really well. He is being sent out of the classroom to do his work because he gets distracted so easily. He wasn't finishing his work because he couldn't concentrate. His grade card showed one F, a couple of D's, a couple of C's and an A and a B. That F just blared at me. It was fluorescent. I felt so bad for my Alex.

I just so happened that not too long after that we ran into a Sister from church in the store and some how we got on the topic of ADHD. She has triplets and they each have a different form of ADHD. After a lot of work trying to help them she put them onto a medication that has worked wonders.

As she told me her story about her son who asks for his meds because he knows how much better he does when he takes them, I cried. The Spirit spoke to me. I knew that I needed to pray about what to do to help Alex. So, I spent a lot of time praying. I will not just jump into something like that without first knowing it is right. So, after much prayer and pondering a thought came to me that just blew me over. "How long will you let Alex suffer while you continue trying to find the right natural remedy?" At least it was something to that effect! Right then and there I knew what I needed to do. I didn't want to do it, but I knew. I put it off. I waited. I felt like a hypocrite. I wanted to help Alex. I just couldn't watch my child suffer through life anymore. So, finally I called the Doctor. I was nervous to even go talk to him. I love this Doctor, and I don't say that loosely. I do not like very many Doctors but Heavenly Father blessed me to be able to find this one. He is great. He is supportive of the natural and is a wealth of knowledge about the natural. I prayed for help as I talked to him. I explained why I felt we needed to try something (all the while holding tears back) and this wonderful man just nodded in acknowledgment.

He took a moment to talk to Alex and explain what we were talking about. He put it into words that Alex could understand. It was fantastic. He told Alex that there is nothing wrong with him but that there is something very right with him. He explained that Alex's brain goes so quickly that when the teacher and students are talking it's like they are talking r e a l l y s l o w l y. After a few minutes of listening to the doctor talk really slowly (to give me an example) I was frustrated. He said that's what it is like for Alex. So we need slow his brain down a little bit so that he can catch what everyone is saying without getting frustrated. The Doctor told him that he is a very smart boy and that by the time Alex is an adult he will probably be smarter than the Doctor. He also said that most of the really neat inventions that are created come from people with ADHD. They are really intelligent people with a lot of creativity.

So, after some advice from the Doctor I went home feeling a lot less like a heel. Friday morning we tried the medication for the first time. I wrote a letter to school informing them and letting them know that I need to know if they see any adverse side effects.

Alex came home and I asked him how his day went. He sent it went "Amazing"! He finished up a pile of work that he had been unable to finish before because he was so distracted. He also was not sent out of the room to work. He was able to stay in his class. That alone is worth it. I don't care what people say. I know there are many who will disagree with the decision that we have made, but I KNOW with all my heart and soul that I did what I needed to for Alex....NOT for me. That is all that matters. Heavenly Father is the ONLY one who knows what will help Alex the best. Not me. So, I went to Him for help. So many times the answers I get are not what I want to hear, but they are always what will be best.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is patient with me as I stumble through life. I am grateful for family and good friends who are supportive especially when we have to make hard choices.

January 2010

2010-01-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

The holidays are over, the dried out Christmas tree lays haphazardly in the falling snow beside the back door, the house is cluttered with toys, the dishes are piling up, the mail is overflowing from the mailbox...

School has started again and I guess it is time to put my house back in order. They canceled school yesterday for -14 degree weather. Yikes! Today there is an early out. I wonder if I will get time to clean and declutter my house!!

I love sharing the holidays with my children and have a lot of fun with them while they are here...but they have caught cabin fever. They can't go outside, or don't want to, because it's so cold. They are tired of playing with each other because that is all they have done for the last few days! They fight, and yell and scream and start hitting and kicking. I strongly dislike wrestle time, as it causes harm to others. So, I was so hoping for school to start....and yet...I want to sleep-in some more!!

We will see what the next couple of days brings. It is supposed to be even colder. Yeesh! I wish my kids liked to read! TJ does but the others don't very much. I need to find a way to change that.

So, on to the decluttering of my home. I only have about an hour before they come home. I better get busy!!

Christmas Countdown!

2009-12-12T18:51:00.000-08:00

The countdown is on the calendar...along with two other countdowns...and it gets confusing. One counts down to Christmas...of course. One counts down to Max's eighth birthday and the last one counts down to Alex's 10th birthday. Wow! And I count down the hours until the kids will be tucked into their beds and the house will be quiet! This week has been crazy with 3 snow days off from school. The kids have gone stir crazy and I have been sick, so I couldn't do anything fun with them. Oh well. There will be other days!

Today I am feeling better, but not 100% yet. I made Max's birthday cake today. I used my Mom's recipe for both cake and frosting. I can't wait to see how it turned out. It is a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and peanut butter frosting as the trim and writing. Looks tasty to me!

I am trying to figure out what in the world to buy for my wonderful husband for Christmas. I had an idea but he didn't like it...and it was too expensive. Most of the things he wants cost way too much and therefore he continues to live without them. For myself, I have lists of books, music and random other stuff that I would love to have that are pretty inexpensive. I asked him why he couldn't come up with a bunch of ideas for me to choose from. He then proceeded to tell me two things that he wouldn't mind having. I need to find something perfect for him. Something that means a lot to him. I am stumped. I don't like giving meaningless, useless gifts. I want it to be something he would really enjoy. Send ideas my way!!

Crazy Week!

2009-11-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

This has been a crazy week already and it's only Wednesday. Lyssa woke up with a yucky runny nose on Monday, so I called and ordered more Silver right away. We were almost out. She has not been sick at all this first year of her life. Amazing. What a contrast between her and the boys. They were always sick. I was always at the doctor's office and they always had an antibiotic. After much change in out lives we are sick less often. You can't prevent it 100% of the time, but you sure can make a huge difference in the health of your family.

So, because she is never sick, she is very fussy. All she wants is Mommy to hold her and carry her and nurse her. I have had so much to get done. You can't get a lot done with a sick child either. It is now Wednesday and I am almost done with what needs to be done for tomorrow night. At least I have tomorrow during the day to wrap things up.

I am craving some quiet time with a good book right now. I think I might get a little of it too! I am also in need of some exercise. I have not done well lately with that at all. I got all out of whack during the summer and it's like pulling teeth to get back into a good routine again. If Lady Bug would sleep better at night I could get up early, but I can barely drag myself out of bed at 6:30am just to get TJ up for school. It's nuts. I know that exercise will help reduce my stress and will give me more energy and yet I just can find the energy to do it. What a vicious cycle. Ugh!

I am going to go upstairs in the quiet living room, sit on my comfy couch, put out my book and escape to a new world for a while!

Good Health

2009-11-12T12:03:00.000-08:00

Don't they say that you don't appreciate something until it's gone. Well, I think that sometimes I take for granted that I am in good health. Then on days like Monday I wish and pray with all my might that the pain will somehow go away.

I have had a burning in my upper abdomen, just below my sternum. It is usually accompanied by gas and bloating. It is very painful. Monday I went to bed with a warm rice bag against my tummy. Tuesday I woke up feeling better but not 100%. Later in the afternoon the pain started in again. I wanted to curl up in a ball. But I had to go to the church that night, so I had Todd get me some Pepto Bismal to help ease the pain. After talking to my awesome Chiropractor we determined that it might be an ulcer. He asked me if I was stressed and I just laughed. I have learned that when I think I am not stressed, I usually am. So, he started me on a supplement to help. Wednesday morning I was doing better but by the afternoon I was starting to hurt again. I took a nap and started to feel better. Today, Thursday, I have felt pretty good; Just tired due to not feeling well. I have still been taking the supplement and I am also making sure to eat bland foods. Saltine crackers are my friend. I am hoping that this will heal quickly and I will be able to eat normal foods again. The only kicker is that I need to find a way to relax and not get stressed out!

One way to help my stress is to keep up on my budget. I am doing that this week and it helps me feel better about our finances. Whew! I'm still working on other ways to reduce my stress. I know that I can do it with the Lord's help. That is the only way to get through; with the Lord by my side. I am so thankful for Him and His love for me.

Colin

2009-11-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

Colin was a brave boy. He loved to pretend. He had blond hair and mischievous blue eyes. Some times he would pretend to be a pirate. Other times he would be an explorer. Today Colin was a scientist. He was looking for bugs, and toads and worms and other things that boys like. Then he saw a big fat toad hiding in the flower bed. Colin’s eyes grew wide. Hurray! A Toad! He reached down and swiftly grabbed the back of the toad. He held it up to admire his catch. A grin spread across his face. He hugged the frog to his chest and said, “ I will call you Toady.” He loved his new toad. He held Toady out in front of him to examine him. Toady had dark circles on his back and he was kind of a gray color on his legs and belly. He played and pretended with Toady and they became great friends. But then Toady slipped out of his hands and hopped quickly away into a muddy drain. Colin was sad. He missed his friend Toady. Each day when Colin would go outside to play he would look for Toady, hoping that he would find him again. Then one day Colin was playing near some mud in the backyard and he spotted Toady. Hurray! Colin quickly gathered Toady up into his arms and hugged him again. At last they could play again. He pretended that Toady was a super hero and he flew him through the air. Then Colin’s Mommy told him that Toady probably didn’t like to play that way. So, Colin just held him while he walked around the back yard.

This is a true story. I find it so cute how kids love to play with animals and reptiles and such, but I always wonder how traumatized the poor things are when the child is done flying then through the air like Superman! I found this on my computer when I was cleaning out today and thought it was a cute story to share! Have a super day!

I am Thankful!

2009-11-05T11:08:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful for so many things. I feel so filled with joy at this moment. I am thankful for:

A wonderful Husband
a sweet TJ
a funny Alex
a silly Max
a mischievous Colin
a smiling Alyssa
Laughter
Awesome parents
Sisters...need I say more?
Family...that about says it all!
Dear Friends far and near
pictures
memories
Autumn
warm fuzzy socks
cozy sweaters and sweat shirts
Christmas music
Holidays
My Savior
The gospel
a warm home
a comfy, worn out couch
food to eat
good books to read
happiness
talents
yummy food

I could go on and on. I feel so blessed right now. There may be stress and craziness in life but sometimes Heavenly Father opens a window and shows you all of your awesome blessings and life isn't so hard for a while. I love it! Have a warm, cozy, comfortable day!

Sigh!

2009-11-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

Fall is still in the air. Here and there the leaves are clinging to the branches desperately. The rain falls in an attempt to force the stubborn ones from their branches way up high. Yet some still remain, giving off their glorious colors for all to see. Some gave up long ago and drifted lazily to the ground to mingle with the rest. The winds blow them about, to and fro. Colors in the sky, colors on the ground. Bare limbs stand out against the still green grass. The earth seems to be beckoning winter in. But winter is waiting. Holding on. It's not time yet. It wants to give us time to really appreciate the glory of the colors that surround us this fall.

Take a deep breath. Breathe in the fresh crisp air and take in the beauty around you. Then have a fabulous day!

Needed a long Time Out!

2009-10-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

Oh what an awesome weekend! Can anyone give me a Whoo Hoo? I attended Time Out for Women in Kansas City along with Alicia and April. We were lucky to sit next to Michelle and Sephie while we were there. They were so kind and saved us seats on both days. I came away with a determination to do better, have a more positive attitude, be more kind and to think before I speak. The highlight for me was that John Bytheway was there on Saturday because Sheri Dew couldn't make it. Oh My! Not only did he have us rolling with laughter, but so did most of the other presenters. It was a wonderful time-out for me. I have been desperately needing it. It was the first time I left Alyssa all day long. Oh, it was nice. Then I came back rejuvenated and ready to be a better Mother, wife and individual.

We carved pumpkins on Saturday night and then on Sunday evening we had Alyssa birthday party along with her cousin, Zac's. We had cake and ice cream and opened presents. I think the most fun part for the family is just being together. Having Grandma and Grandpa Cantwell there was definitely a highlight. They enjoyed watching the kids play together. I took lots of pictures to share with them and everyone else. Stay tuned for those later.

So, we are starting a new week. I have a lot to get done. I pray that Heavenly Father blesses me with all I need to accomplish all of these tasks!

On a side note, I have to thank my Father in Heaven. I had posted a while back about how I desperately needed sleep. Miraculously that night Lady Bug slept through the night and then continued that pattern for a week. Then she went right back to waking up several times. I am so thankful that when I was at the end of my rope Father in Heaven blessed me with some sleep. I know He loves me.

A Letter

2009-10-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

In the fourth grade this year the teacher has asked us to write a letter to the class about what makes our child special. Each week they spotlight a new child in the class to help get to know them a little better. This next week is Alex's turn. One of the things we had to do was write a letter. It could have funny stories, poems or anything we thought the class would like to hear. So, below is the letter that Todd and I (with some help from Todd's Mom) wrote:

To Alex’s Fourth Grade Class,
We want you to know what an awesome kid Alex is. He is a happy person who loves to make others laugh. He is a very caring person. He loves to be silly. He enjoys a good movie and loves to play pretend. He has a great imagination and he enjoys pretending that he is a Super Hero. He loves to make silly faces that make other people smile. He has 3 brothers and one sister. His favorite treat is chocolate. What kind of chocolate, you ask? Anything with chocolate is his favorite! He loves popcorn and pepperoni pizza too.
We want to share a couple of fun poems and a short story that we wrote about Alex.

There once was a boy named Alex,
who loved to explore the Dramatics.
A silly face he’d make
to cover a mistake.
He surely showed some funny antics!
By Kara and Grandma Cantwell

A boy named Alex, one day,
came home from school for to play.
His brothers were mad
His sister was sad
But Alex was a sun shiny ray.
By Grandma Cantwell

In a small town, far away, lived a golden haired boy named Alex. Alex lived with his parents, his three brothers and one little sister in a medium sized house just outside the city. He shared a bedroom, which his Dad and Papa built, with his older brother in the basement of their house. It was a fun room. The walls were painted his favorite color…Green! The green was so green it was as bright as the leaves on the trees in springtime. Alex and his big brother slept on a bunk bed; Alex had the top bunk and his brother had the bottom. At night his big soft kitty cat named Paco would climb onto his bed and snuggle into the warm blankets at Alex’s feet. Sometimes when Alex had a hard time sleeping he would carefully climb down the ladder from his bunk to the floor and tiptoe out to the family room. In the family room he would quietly turn on the TV and watch his favorite shows while curled up in a comfy chair. Sometimes at night when he got really brave, he would sneak up the stairs and find the yummy chocolate chips to have for a snack. Chocolate was his favorite food. If he could eat it for every meal he would; chocolate cereal with chocolate milk for breakfast, chocolate and peanut butter sandwiches with chocolate bars for lunch, and chocolate chip cookie casserole with melted caramel and marsh mellows for supper. Oh what a life that would be, he would dream, and he would go to sleep. By Alex’s Mom

We want you to know how much we love Alex. He is a wonderful, creative, happy, silly, funny and awesome kid! We hope you get to know him and like him just as much as we do!

***

So,we hope you enjoy this fun info that we shared! It was fun to write! Maybe I'll do it for all my kids!

Autumn

2009-10-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

The smells of fall are in the air. A brisk breeze is blowing. Leaves skitter across the ground. The scent of the warm furnace kicking on fills the rooms of the house. The leaves are turning...yellow, gold, bronze, and brown. Here and there is a scattering of orange, red, pink, and purple. Trees with burnt orange tips dot the landscape. Green at the bottom with color gradually working its way up to the top. Deep purple, almost brown leaves stand out against the remaining green. From the bottom of the tree you see green, yet gradually it turns yellow and at the tips orange. A bright orange or red little tree catches my eye. I look around at the dull yellows and golds and browns and then...aah! A bright beauty stands out against the rest. These are the things I see as I drive along the road in Saint Joseph, Missouri.

There is nothing like the Fall. It is absolutely my favorite time of the year. The smells and the sights, the warm cozy sweaters, and rosy red cheeks are what make the world glorious at this time of year.

It can also be a time of longing. Longing to see home again. Longing for bright reds, oranges, yellows everywhere the eye can see, with only a scattering of green in between. To look across the expanse of a rippling lake and see a hillside on fire with color, that is what I long to see.

I have worked hard to find the beauty here in Missouri over the years and I have been blessed with the ability to find it. You always see what you are looking for. I still miss the sights of home. I loved the big red maple tree that stood in front of our first home. With leaves of deep purple during the spring and summer, followed by bright glorious red engulfing its branches in the fall. There is nothing like Fall in New England. I think Heaven will be filled with these wonderfully beautiful sights too!

Grease and grime galore...Oh my!

2009-09-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that the more kids you have the less house work gets done? I am noticing that the necessities are taken care of while the things that are less important get pushed aside. My kitchen floor happens to be one of those items that has been pushed aside. So, today I was looking at my white floor thinking, "Boy it doesn't look very white anymore". I decided it was the perfect day to change that.

I hate using chemicals, but sometimes they are a blessing. I got out the vinegar and began scrubbing. The gray grime remained on the floor. The dirt pushed around a bit, along with some cat hair and I sighed and headed to the laundry room to find something better to clean with.

Mop and Glo. I'm thinking...this has to work. I hate this nasty gray grime on my floor. It's embarrassing. I squirted some on the floor and began scrubbing......Nothing. What's the point of this stuff anyway!

Ugh! Back to the laundry room I trudge. I stared at my shelves full of cleaning supplies and checked each one off the list. Nothing was going to work. But wait...
Up the stairs I go...

This time I returned with Greased Lightening in hand. I squirted it on the floor and took a deep breath. I started scrubbing and miraculously the grime began to lift easily from the floor; like erasing a chalk board. I saw white floor!!! It was so dirty that the mop kept smearing this nasty sludge all around, like mud. So, back and forth I went to the sink to rinse out the saturated mop. And back to the floor I returned to scrub away some more gray grime. I had to do go over the spots a few times before the gray completely disappeared. Gross!

But one thing I remembered before I embarked on this mission was that Greased Lightening is potent. I opened the windows and let the breeze blow. It is pleasant and windy today. There is a nice brisk breeze in the air bringing the smells and thoughts of autumn.

If you are in a confined space, when you use this stuff, you may start gagging and coughing uncontrollably. It is nasty. But who, may I ask, wants their white floors to look gray. Not me. So, sometimes those chemicals I don't like very much are a blessing.

My floor is now clean. My mind relaxed and a little more at peace. Yes...cleaning makes me feel better! I accomplished something with my day.

Lady Bug...so cute!

2009-09-26T05:49:00.000-07:00

Some pictures for you today! Hope you enjoy!

Just another morning

2009-09-26T05:05:00.000-07:00

So, it's 7:00 am on a Saturday and I can't sleep. I should be sleeping in since all the kids are, but my brain won't shut off. Could be worse I guess! Lady Bug slept through the night last night for the first time in a couple of weeks! Hallelujah! She had been leaking out of her diapers for the last four or five nights and I was getting pretty frustrated waking up just to change a diaper that wasn't even saturated.

Since she has been crawling around everywhere she has lost a bunch of baby fat. So, the leg elastics were too big around her legs. Oops! Yesterday I spent a little while adjusting a bunch of her diapers, and each time she needed a diaper change I adjusted another one. No leaks!!!

Lady Bug has a great desire to walk. She gets very frustrated when she can't get there fast enough. She has been pretty fussy this last week and I thought I was going to go nuts. Finally yesterday she was a bit happier. She is trying to stand up next to the couch, the window, and the bakers wrack. She even gets in a squatting position and just sits there with one knee on the ground. She is eleven months now and I can see those wheels spinning in her head. She wants to be mobile. She is trying to figure out how she can stand up and not fall over. Her little feet are still a bit round and it's hard for her to be steady. It makes me wonder how long it will take. It's so fun to watch her learn and grow. We had fun with the boys watching them do new things too. It just feels like it has been so long that it has become exciting again. Her first year is going by way too fast for my taste.

John and Alicia got here last night after traveling for about 3 days. They staying with us last night and will head to Mike's house for a couple of nights sometime today. It's fun to have family visiting and it's more fun to see how excited the boys get when they see them drive into the driveway. I remember feeling the same way when my Gramma would come visit from Arizona. Or when Aunt Wanda and Uncle Billy would come. It's so exciting. You get a little spoiled and you get to do things that aren't normally in your routine.

I remember when Gramma and Stan would drive out in their big blue van. We thought it was so cool. They had a bed in the back of the van to sleep in on their trip. What an awesome way to travel! Not with five kids though! I'll take a hotel any day!

I guess I better find something else to do while everyone sleeps! Happy Weekend!

Need a "pick-me-up" today?

2009-09-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was so tired and had been home all week with sick kids. So, I read my scriptures and folded laundry and took care of Max and Lady Bug. Then I had a prompting to read an article in the Ensign. I grabbed the September issue of the Ensign and started reading the First Presidency message....

It was wonderful. Of course I cried. I always do. But I needed it so much. I love President Uchtdorf. He always seems to know just what to say to the sisters of the church to help them to remember what great women they truly are. I needed that reminder. The best part about it is when he says...oh I am just going to copy and paste because I can't do it justice!!!

"May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fulness of the gospel (see D&C 45:28). Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5)."

"My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity."(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Influence of Righteous Women", Ensign, Sept. 2009, 2-7).

Oh...it's just awesome. It spoke to me. I am so glad that I listened to that prompting and read that article. I need to do it more often. The only problem is that whenever I read it...I cry. I don't like to cry, but I do it a lot.

But even though it made me cry it was cleansing and I needed that and my Father in Heaven knew that I needed it too. I need to learn to let myself cry and not feel bad about it. It just frustrates me.

Today, after I got some extra sleep, I was able to exercise again. Yeah! I needed that today too! It gives me so much more energy!! Now I'm ready to take on the rest of the day! Taking care of Max still. Lady Bug is fussy today, but is taking a nap now so I am getting a break!

Still sick

2009-09-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

Colin is so sick he had to stay home from school. There is a rule that they have to be fever free for 24 hours, without the use of medicine, before they can return. So, he jumped for joy and bragged to his brothers.

Colin is so sick today that he asked if he could play with his toys in the sink. I told him he wasn't allowed to splash or make big messes and that he had to show me the toys he wanted to play with in the water. So, I sat on the couch nursing Alyssa while Colin dragged a stool over to the kitchen sink, plugged it, and filled it with water. He filled it almost to the top. He would stand his toys on the faucet and they would do a cannon ball into the water. They didn't make big splashes though...that was the rule! I think he is feeling better! No high fevers yet today. I hope the fevers are long gone.

My day is a little more lazy than usual because I have Colin home. He needs a lot more attention than Lady Bug does sometimes. Between the two of them I might at well just grab a book and find a comfy spot so that they can find me at a moment's notice! That's what being a Mom is all about...isn't it? Being there when our children need us...Even when it's just asking permission to play in the sink!

Fever..."you give me fever"!

2009-09-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

"Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night"
Yes...the mysterious fevers are here. Alyssa had it last night, but she is teething really badly. Poor thing. This morning we all got up and Todd was off helping build a house with the Habitat for Humanity, so we just watched a movie. The next thing I know Colin is sound asleep on the couch. I thought, "What in the world..." So, I go over to check on him and he is burning up. I checked his temp and it was about 101 degrees. I let him go for a few hours until he reached 103 degrees. Now for the medicine.

When the TJ was little I should have had stock in Children's Motrin. Holy Moly! We bought a ton of the stuff. But since I have begun doing a lot more natural solutions I steer toward other remedies to help when the kids are sick.

I guess we will be staying home from church tomorrow; Colin, Alyssa and I!

So far there are no other symptoms, but I continue to watch and be aware.

Last night we were able to attend a High School football game at Central High School, here in St. Joseph. Bill and Cheryl weren't able to attend and they needed someone to be surrogate band parents for their daughter who play the mellophone in the band. So, Todd and I went. It was a lot of fun. I guess it was the first time in years that Central has won a home game. We must have been their lucky charm!

Todd's parents are on their way out here for a visit. They are all packed and ready to move to Denton, Texas and are making a pit stop here, along the way. That will be fun!

I'm going back up to take care of my sickie!

His Gentle Commands

2009-09-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

As I ran around this morning getting my children ready for school, my mind was able to focus on other things...on them. I was able to get rid of some of those thoughts that have been causing me stress and I found that my body was beginning to relax. It wasn't that this morning was restful. I start my morning at 6:30am by getting TJ up. He showers while I begin to make lunches. Once he is done I wake another child and get him into the shower while I continue to make lunches, clean the kitchen and get caught up on communication to the school. This morning I found Alex's math homework in his backpack blank. So, I got him up earlier than usual, as he is the last one I wake up, and sat him at the kitchen table while I made lunches so that I could help him with his homework.

When Todd was leaving for work this morning I had been up for almost an hour. My brain just wouldn't shut off after putting Alyssa back down after feeding her yet again. He came to hug & kiss me and asked how I was doing. On the verge of tears I mentioned that I think I might need a blessing. He hugged me and let me explain why. He would give me a blessing regardless, but I share everything with him, so we talked. Then he went off to work.

I kept a prayer in my heart all morning asking Heavenly Father to help me to know how to reduce this stressful feeling is am having.

I have begun practicing the piano again. It has been years, but I am trying to get my mind and my fingers back into the habit. So, I sat at the piano when the kids went out front to wait for the bus. I played a few hymns over and over again. I can't sing with them or I totally screw up playing! I can't play very well when other sings either. That will come again. I needed to get up and give Lady Bug more cantaloupe and as I was taking care of her the words of the hymn I had been playing came to my mind.

"Why should this anxious load
Press down your weary mind?
Haste to your Heavenly Father's throne
And sweet refreshment find."

What a wonderful reminder. I just need to leave this burden at the feet of the Lord and do my best to continue on and He will help me through. He will carry me.
I am so grateful for the beautiful hymns and the blessing that they can be in my life and others lives if we so choose to utilize them. The hymn continues:

"His goodness stands approved,
Unchanged from day to day;
I'll drop my burden at his feet
And bear a song away."

So, I will continue this day with a prayer in my heart and a song on my lips as I continue forward. What a wonderful blessing it is to have the gospel of Jesus Christ to guide and direct me in my life. I am so extraordinarily grateful to have a loving Savior who died for me and knows exactly what I am going through; no matter how small or how large it may be.

(How Gentle God's Commands, Hymn #125)

We change

2009-09-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was realizing just the other day how some minor things have changed since Todd and I got married. When a couple gets together people always talk about what things they like to do together, what their common interests are. Well, Todd and I always loved movies and just being together.

One of the things Todd has always loved is baseball. And not just any old baseball game, but the Royals. So, he would listen to games on the radio and I would sigh and think, "Boring!!". Many times I would ask him to change the station because I hated to listen to the game.

This year I have attended 2 Kansas City Royals home games with Todd and family and friends. This year I have learned to appreciate baseball. It was fun to attend a game, sit high up in the stands and cheer for our team. There is so much going on at the stadium. People walking up and down the stairs yelling, "Cotton Candy...Cotton Candy for sale!". They sell frozen Lemonade, ice creams, and many other things. It is stimulation overload! The noise is insane and you have to yell or talk very loudly to be heard. We even started texting one time because it was just easier to communicate that way.

So, I am now a fan. I actually enjoy the games. I will even watch them on TV. Now...I still don't like to listen to them on the radio, but I have gained an appreciation for something that Todd loves and now we can share it together.

The boys love the games too. Max has a hard time with the noise, but he does really well considering. TJ, Alex and Colin will holler with the rest of them as they cheer the team on. It's fun to watch! They chant, "Let's go Royals!" clap, clap "Let's go Royals!" clap, clap They get loud and crazy. It's so cute. They ask for cotton candy and we lovingly say no. They ask for soda, nachos, ice cream...and we again tell them no. We bring popcorn and water and other yummy snacks. It's much less expensive that way. I was shocked one time when I went to get water and it cost over $4 a bottle. That highway robbery right there!!!

So, we can change. We can learn to like new and different things. We just have to want to change.

The Swing of Things

2009-09-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

We are getting into...the "Swing of things" again! Slowly, but surely. Alyssa is trying to get used to playing all by herself with no interruptions from her noisy brothers! She is doing pretty well with that.

The other day I was cleaning up the house and I went into TJ's and Alex's room and found something I thought was pretty creative. I would never have thought to do it myself. TJ had taken a headlamp and put it on the blink mode, set it on the floor and pointed it at the sensor on the night light. So every time the headlamp would shine the night light would go off, and every time with headlamp was off the night light would shine. It must have caught me just right because I chuckled and left it the way that it was.

I spent a large part of my day yesterday cleaning my room. I am always telling my kids to clean theirs but mine doesn't get touched. So, I cleaned it. I had a man from State Farm coming to look at the leak in our bathroom and I didn't want him to see the mess. So, I cleaned and cleared out everything I could. The result...I have a new room. It is so nice! So tidy and spacious! It is a nice feeling! Now Todd just need to finish what I started on his stuff and we will have a wonderful room.

I am ready for little Ladybug to sleep at night. She is teething again so that doesn't help matters. She doesn't sleep through the night anyway, but when she is teething it feels like torture. I am a grouch because I am not getting the sleep that I so desperately need to stay pleasant, so I have to try extra hard to be pleasant anyway. That is just not easy. It's bad when I find myself doing things that I would get upset with the boys for doing. TJ called me on it and I had to do some repenting. Ugh! I pray for sleep constantly but sleep evades me. I told Todd that I must need to learn something from this lack of sleep because Heavenly Father continues to allow me to be tested with it. Maybe some day soon I will get that wonderful blessing of sleep!

Todd's birthday is coming up next Monday. He will be 35 years old. He has decided that this is a perfect year for a mid-life crisis. He has decided that he needs a Mini Cooper to help him through this "tough" time in life. :) I just chuckle with him and tell him that when he can find one in our price range he has my blessing. Silly man!

Lyssy-loo is needing my attention. I had better go! Until the next time...

Back to School

2009-08-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

This was the first week back to school for all four of our boys. I need to put some pictures on here so you can see all the boys in their school duds. They had early outs on each day too.

TJ was really nervous about his teacher, but it turns out that she is actually pretty nice. TJ is excited about that.

This is the first year that they all came home saying they made a new friend. We have been here for 3 1/2 years now. I am thankful for how comfortable they finally are.

Alex loves his new teacher. He had her for summer school and she is really nice. He has had a great time so far.

Max had a fabulous week at school. He behaved well and really enjoyed being back with his Para Professional, Mrs. Wisler. We are so thankful that she chose to stay on with Max. She has been a great blessing in our lives. Max's new teacher seems really nice too. Besides being more aggressive after school, Max is doing great. I always know that he will have a longer and harder adjustment period when beginning a new school year than the other boys.

Colin came home to tell us that he had a Awesome time at school. He made a friend and he had a lot of fun. He enjoyed the coloring pages that he was given.

So, even though I am so tired from having to get up early this week, I am thankful that it has gone so well. The only things that I could do without is all the paperwork from school. Almost every day we have something we have to look at, file, fill out and return...love the papers!

We are still trying to get unpacked from our trip. We will hopefully have that done soon. One of my most exciting treasures that I brought home with me from Maine is my box full of cups and saucers from my Grandmother. Until this trip I had forgotten to get them. While we were in Maine I asked where they might be and Juli and I got to go digging. In an older home that can be a little scary with all the cobwebs and stuff. They weren't very hard to find though. They were in a really old trunk that smelled of moth balls...yum. Juli and I carefully unwrapped a bunch of other dusty, smelly items before we found my box. So fun! Memories! I can't wait to unwrap them and place them carefully on a shelf in my bedroom (for now at least until the kids are older). Todd is going to make a nice shelf for me. I also plan to put a couple of knick-knacks (or how ever you spell that silly word!) there that my Mom gave me while we were home.

I feel a little out of sorts since getting home. I'm having a bit of a hard time getting into the swing of things. I feel like I am missing home a lot more this time than in the past....

Plus on Thursday my Mom's mother went into the hospital and was in critical condition for a while. We had just spent time with her while we were in Maine and I just couldn't quite wrap my brain around the situation. Thankfully she is doing better and was moved out of the ICU today and is improving daily. What a blessing. I am so thankful for being able to spend time with her recently.

I started out this blog with a totally different idea in mind for writing but I guess this is what I was supposed to share!

Today I spent about 4 hours doing my budget from the trip. I am so very thrilled to be finished with that! Now I can relax! Well, I better go relax and hold little Lady Bug before it's time for bed.

Sleep well all!

Awesome Vacation

2009-08-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

We are home again. We had such a wonderful time on vacation that it has been very hard to come home. The three weeks we spent in Maine were jam packed with fun, family and lots more!

The first week we visited with both my side of the family, The Young's, and also with Todd's family. We spent time with both sets of grandparents and even one Great Gramma who flew in from Arizona. We ate lobster and clams at Doug's and Heidi's house in Gray, Maine (about 45 minutes south of where Kara grew up). Todd's Aunt Sheila and Uncle Buster were there visiting from Colorado and had brought a couple of friends. That was a bunch of fun! George and Linda Young, my parents, and Juli Dubuc, my sister, tagged along for the evening. The kids had a blast jumping on Uncle Doug's trampoline and messing around with everyone.

The lobster didn't stop there! We had lobster again at Juli's and Scott's house later in the week! Yum! We also spent time 4-wheeling, and swimming.

The first weekend there we were busy with, my High School friend, Kristina's wedding. We attended the rehearsal dinner in the soaking wet yard where it would be held. We sloshed around in the puddles in the grass for about 20 minutes before we headed to the dinner. At the dinner, TJ spent much time catching itty bitty tiny frogs with the girls who were there. :) It was rainy and wet, but it was fun no less.

Then on Saturday the wedding took place. Todd and I were playing photographers. It was fun, but it also reminded me why I hate doing weddings!!! They are so fast paced and crazy. Again we got to slosh around in mud holes for the most part! I am so glad I went casual.

We were able to attend church with my parents twice this trip, which wouldn't have happened if Todd had worked the Friday before. So, on August 2nd a group of us who were youth together sang in Sacrament meeting. It was the first time in about 15 years since we had sung together...and sung that song in particular. I kept thinking, while we were practicing that I sounded totally off key. Well then I realized that our YW leader at the time had changed the song to fit our abilities as a group. So, I wasn't really messed up! I ended up doing the "soprano" part. I haven't sung that high in a while, and it wasn't really that high. It was a good alto part! Anyway, the song is called, "Warriors of Light". So, I got through it to the end...and then I cried. So fun to sing together again. Granted it was only a handful of us, but it was still awesome. We had myself, Juli, Darcy, Shannon, DeeDee and we asked Ashley Paine to help on soprano. It was neat. ...Memories!...

We spent a weekend at Doug's and Heidi's home, where Todd's parents are staying for the summer. We went swimming, played video games, ate smores, jumped on the trampoline, sang songs while Doug played the guitar, and so much more.

We were also able to attend Todd's parent's branch. We were amazed at how few faces we knew this time. It has changed a lot. The sunday school class was awesome. It was a great experience.

Okay, so we then spent more time 4-wheeling, swimming, playing video games, fishing with Papa, and shopping! Alex caught the most awesome bass. It was about 14 inches...I think! Ask my Dad, he knows! We ate that bass too. It was so yummy! So we went on many adventures. We went shopping at the L.L. Bean store in Freeport. We went to the ocean...Doug and Heidi came along too. Doug went fishing. We "walked the rocks". Then we all went swimming on the beach. We learned a valuable lesson too. Don't wear a two piece if you want to ride the waves!!

We then raced to our favorite shopping place on Bailey Island and got there just before they closed. It's a fun shop at the end of the island, right on the ocean. To get there we had to cross the Cribstone bridge which is a famous bridge. My Great Grandfather helped build the bridge. It was made out of huge cobble stones. Really neat!

TJ got the chance to take pictures with Papa's digital camera. He took him out into the woods like he used to do with my when I was young, and he showed him nature to take pictures of. Then they uploaded them to the computer and TJ learned how to use Photoshop to edit his pictures, which he then printed out and put into a "portfolio".

We went to the movies to see "G-Force" with a lot of family and even more friends! It was fun. We took up about 5 or 6 rows in the theater.

Mom, Juli and a friend of my Mom's, Sue, all went to North Conway, New Hampshire to go shopping. That was a fun day!

Todd and I went on a double date with Scott and Juli and then later we went on a triple date with Gus and Darcy, and Scott and Juli. We also celebrated Juli's birthday early with an evening of Mexican food (Juli's choice) and chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, a family tradition!

I am sure I have missed something that we did. We had so much fun. We got to see a lot of friends and then there were some whom we still weren't able to see. It's crazy how busy vacations can get. To those whom we didn't get to see, we apologize, and hope to see you next time. I am sure this is totally out of order, but you get the idea! We had fun! Glad to be home, but miss Maine and family so much.

2 More Days!

2009-07-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Only 2 more days to go. Today I thought I might just lose my mind, but some how I still have it! I need to fold laundry and tomorrow I need to pack. Things are mostly done and the lists are made, so hopefully I won't forget anything.

I went and had acupuncture done and I am so thankful that I did. It relaxes you so much. So, I came home feeling really m-e-l-l-o-w!! I was able to have a more positive attitude and that was sweeeeet!

I am so ready for sleep! Oh...pray that Lyssy Loo sleeps tonight. I had two nights that she slept through the night and then last night I thought I was going to go mad. I survived, but wow...in the middle of the night it is hard to believe that you will keep your sanity. Every time I heard her cry it felt like I had just fallen asleep.

I look forward to vacation where I can sleep in if I need to. I think once she gets these teeth in and I am less stressed she will sleep better again...I hope!!! Wish us luck!!

We are excited!

2009-07-17T07:49:00.000-07:00

One more week and we are headed to Maine! Yeah!!! The list of items to pack for the trip is growing. Next week is pretty full too. We look forward to spending time with family and friends. So, I will probably be MIA for a few weeks. I don't plan on spending much time with the computer while I am there. I would rather visit face to face!

Our Sweet Family

2009-07-16T06:57:00.001-07:00

TJ is so creative. He is always trying to create a new game, along with a unique game board. He also loves to make items or creatures or characters that he has seen on TV or in movies. They love the movie Transformers, played on the clear play DVD player of course! So, TJ is making each of his brothers an All Spark Cube out of paper. Then they can all pretend to be Autobots together, each with their own cube.

Alex loves to have fun. Yesterday I forgot to give him his afternoon remedy. Ouch! So, I asked him to unload the top wrack of the dishwasher. It took him forever. He was playing and being silly. He is great at making silly sounds. Are all boys good at that because I can't do it at all. I was on his case a little about it and he said, "But Mom, I just want to have a little fun." Man, he is so sweet. The funny thing is that when he is on his remedy he can focus and get things done. When he hasn't had it I have to redirect and redirect and redirect until I am very frustrated with a child who can't really help that fact that he can't stay focused. I am thankful for this remedy because I know he must hate getting in trouble so often for things that are out of his control. And deep inside I know that it is hard for him, so I give him a lot of leeway, but then sometimes I don't give him enough. He is such a great kid! He doesn't like to go to Cub Scouts until we get there. Then he loves it. If we have to TV off, which is off a lot more now, he more easily handles a change in what he is doing. When the TV is on though. Whoa! Too much stimulation. It must be stimulation overload.

The TV has stayed off for four mornings in a row! Woo Hoo! Yesterday they were able to watch it a little more, but it still stayed off most of the day. It is so fun to hear them playing nicely together and making all the sound effects for their toys. How do they do that, seriously? Little Ladybug girl just watches them play.

Max has been in his own little world most of the week. He is quiet unless someone takes a toy he had. He should have a warning label, "Attention all children. Do not take away my toys. You don't want to see me when I get ANGRY!" Poor kid. He is making such awesome improvements. He understands more and responds verbally more often. He plays better with other children. At the end of the school year he actually had a couple of friends that he knew by name. That was a huge feat for him! The children in his class were so excited when he would call them by name. Even they saw his improvements. He has such a sweet little spirit too.

Colin just wants to be loved. He is so cute! He would hate it if I said that in front of him. He is such a tough guy. He wants to be a big boy, but at the end of the day he wants Mom to snuggle with him and hold him. I treasure those moments. My big boys like hugs and to sit by me, but I miss the snuggle time. They are just getting too big for that. So, I love it when Colin snuggles! I spend a lot of time with little Ladybug lately and he sometimes feels neglected. Then he starts filling the bathroom sink with water and dunking his head in it to get his hair all wet. When he pulls his head out the water splashes on the mirror and walls and dribbles and drips down his head, onto his neck and soaks his shirt. Then he runs out to show me. What a nut! He climbs on counters, chairs, dressers, colors on the wall (not recently thank goodness), and just wants to be noticed. So, today I am going to do my best to spend some one-on-one time with him.

Little Ladybug is 8 1/2 months. She scrunches up her nose and looks so cute. Her little chubby legs are adorable! She sits on the floor with her toys and turns around. She sits almost Indian style with her feet touching in front of her and rocks back and forth while reaching for toys. She has yet to crawl. She gets mad when I put her on her hands and knees. Oh boy. She doesn't like that! She LOVES her Daddy. When he comes home for lunch she stares at him with a huge grin on her face until he notices! Then she giggles. Daddy has to hold her for at least a couple of minutes while he eats or she gets upset. She loves her Daddy! She will lunge for him when I am holding her. She makes her wants known! She talks very loudly when she is playing. TJ asked if we could quiet her down the other day. I just chuckled. She is a very loud talker right now. I think it is cute at home, but not so much at church! She talks to her hands and her food and her toys. I just love it!

Todd got the HR job on the base, that was pretty much promised to him. Shocker! He applied for a different job also, in the Comm flight. The job would be working with computers. It would be a Technician position instead of an AGR position, which is what he is currently. There are some benefits to being Technician. One of them being that he would have the opportunity to increase his pay more so than if he stays AGR status. It can be very confusing and it takes me asking a lot of questions to really understand the tiniest part of it. Please pray for him. I want him to be happy at work again. Not that he is miserable, but he loved his other job. He loves Readiness. But it was not to be. I know Heavenly Father has something for him. He just needs to find it. Maybe it is the Comm job. Who knows!

I am staying very busy caring for my children, cleaning the house, doing my calling, baking, cooking, doing laundry and all of the other things that go along with being a Mother. I love to read. I love a good movie. I love sitting on the couch next to my Eternal companion, even if for just a silly TV show. I have the most wonderful husband ever! He thinks I am funny. He might be watching a show and I am reading, but we are together. I love it!

How are all of your sweet families doing? My thoughts are with all of my friends!

On a roll

2009-07-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this week I finally have some energy and I feel like I am on a roll. But don't knock on my door with out calling first because I am still in my pajamas.

BUT...the laundry is all caught up. The dishes are almost done. The kitchen/dining room floors got mopped. The bathrooms are pretty clean. The floors got vacuumed. Whew! It feels good!

In 9 days we head out to Maine! I want the house to be clean for when we come home. I strongly despise coming home to a dirty house.

Oh...funny thing. I totally clogged my kitchen sink tonight:)! I don't know how many times I apologized to Todd for it. I was cleaning out the fridge, you know still being on a roll and all, and I dumped the old nasty food into the sink. Well, it kind of jammed up the trap. OOOOPS! Todd tried the plunger trick...but it was too plugged. LOL! So, he had to unscrew the pipes and let it all out into a bucket. Then He made a mess and sprayed a lot of the contents under the sink with yucky dirty ricey water. (There was a lot of rice in there :() EEWW! So, he finished fixing my mess and I cleaned up after him. Good trade off right? I have such a wonderful husband! I think he was really glad I was finally cleaning out the fridge! It was full when Juli came out. It needed to be cleaned out a while ago. And since I was on a roll I finally got that accomplished! So, that is one more thing that will be clean when I come home from our visit to Maine.

Today I went from dresser to dresser (or as we say in Maine, bureau. I had friends growing up who would pronounce it "breero" hehehe! If you know me you know that I have issues with words being pronounced incorrectly. :)Todd got me to change to using the word dresser. It doesn't get messed up as much!). I unfolded each article of clothing and checked the sizes. I took out ALL outgrown clothing. Then I moved items from TJ's dresser to Alex's, to Max's and then to Colin's. I now have about 5 boxes in the hallway, full of clothing to be donated! LOVE CLEANING OUT!

Now I can go sit on my couch and read! LOVE reading! I am trying to be good. I read in the evening while everyone is watching TV or is otherwise occupied!

Feelin' good!

Making a change

2009-07-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

Making a change, whether in attitude, food choices, in schedule, you name it, it can be hard to do. When we first put Max on the gluten free/casein free diet when he was 3 1/2 was so hard. I couldn't sleep. Thoughts of what I could and couldn't feed him rolled through my mind when I closed my eyes. I thought I would never get to a point where I felt comfortable with it. But somewhere between now then I got used to it. It has been 4 years now.

A few months ago we decided, per Doctor suggestion, to put Alex on the same diet. I hoped it would make a difference, but as we look at the last few months we don't see a change. The change really came when we put him on a new remedy. It is helping him a lot. That is when we realized that the diet didn't help.

Yesterday was my first day putting Alex back on regular food. But there is a catch. It needs to be foods without artificial colors, flavors, additives and other unnecessary chemicals. I am not as familiar with those foods, so I have some research to do. I know pretty much what to look for but I need to locate the items that are "safe".

Wish me luck!

Summer should be a blast!

2009-07-13T06:47:00.000-07:00

In the Spring I start dreaming of Summer and all the fun we can have. I dream of sleeping in late. I dream of giggling children running around outside. I dream of a clean house. Then my day dream comes to a screeching halt!!!

I think...that NEVER happens!!!

Here is the reality of Summer in our home...
Sleep in until 8:00 only because the children went to bed between 9pm and 10pm.
The kids are so tired of playing with each other that they fight all the time.
The house is a wreck. Food all over the dining room/kitchen floor. Dishes piled in the sink and on both counters. Wet towels and swimming suits all over the place even though I constantly remind them to hang them. Tattling...oh the tattling.....and even more tattling.

Ok...it might not be that bad all the time, but it is hard for me during the summer. I want desperately to take them to do fun things and the whole time is spent having to remind them to behave.

Plus, yesterday I was reminded how a lack of routine greatly effects children with Autism. Sacrament meeting alone is hard anyway. On the way to church, running about 5 minutes behind but not late, I realized that Todd had told me that a bridge would be out at the exit we always take and that I should take the exit before that one. Well...I forgot. So, here I am at the exit, frustrated. I flew up to the next exit and turned around and headed back to the church. We got there just before the meeting started.

Since the addition of miss Ladybug we have started sitting in one of the middle pews in the back. This way we don't disturb as many people when we get up to take a child out. Plus, I hate to be the center of attention. So, we get there late and there are no seats except one about 3 rows from the front. I groaned inwardly and marched my train of children to the front of the chapel to sit down. They all had a brand new mechanical ("clicky") pencil in hand with their name on it along with a new notebook to color in. I felt pretty prepared. TJ sat quietly coloring. He loves to draw and can draw a really detailed dragon. It's pretty cool. Alex, for a change, was sitting nicely drawing. Since the new remedies we started he is doing better and better. Ladybug had fallen asleep just before we left the house but woke as soon as I tried to put her into her car seat. Now she was wide awake but happy. Max and Colin, on the other hand, were poking...nudging...giggling...talking loudly...you name it. I tried to quiet them numerous times. The problem is that Colin likes to tease. He will tease and Max doesn't deal well with that. So, I tried to bribe them with the idea of getting a treat when we got home when they sat quietly and colored.

I finally had to remove Max, dragging him from the pew while holding Ladybug, all the way through the chapel and out to the hallway. These are the times I quietly wish someone would come to my rescue. But it isn't their job.

I put Max on a seat in an empty classroom, with the door wide open, in time-out, while I walked in the hall...back and forth in front of the door. Once he was finally calm enough to go back we went in to sit down. Again we walked to the front. Yuck.

After sitting for a few minutes I finally moved Max over next to TJ. Why I didn't do that in the first place is beyond me. About 20 minutes before the meeting ended my little Ladybug started fussing and I had to leave the boys to go to the Mother's Lounge. Luckily, one of our youth, Tyler came to sit with the boys for me.

Max had gotten into a great routine with Church and was sitting well for so long. Then summer came. We don't have as strict a routine at home as they do at school. So, each day it gets worse and worse. The shrieking, hitting, throwing toys, slamming doors...all due to the lack of routine and too much stimulation.

So, after a hard day at church I decided that the TV is staying off...for the most part. I must confess...I use the TV as a crutch. When things get overwhelming at home I sit the kids in front of the TV. That isn't the best thing for me to do...and I realize that, but I got myself into the habit when I was pregnant and now I have to get out of it.

So, I am hoping that through the next few weeks of summer I can help my kids have fun. If the house is going to be a wreck I might as well just leave it and go do something with the kids...like sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags! Thanks Becca for that idea! The kids love it!

I am committing myself to do better today. I am going to handle my children better. I am going to leave the TV off. Have the kids do their chores, which I have not enforced because I thought it would be nice if I let them enjoy more summer. I will read my scriptures...say my prayers... and just try to do better. I know I can't do it without the help of the Lord.

I look forward to going to Maine! Less than two weeks now to go!!!

The new wave!

2009-07-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

I just caught that new wave and I am trying to stay on it!!! We started doing cloth diapers not too long ago and then when Todd didn't like it he finally put his foot down. I can still hear that foot hit the floor!

He doesn't very often have an opinion about what I do. But this time he does. So, we went back to disposables. That lasted for about a week. Our little Ladybug got a rash so bad it started to blister. So I pleaded with Todd to let me put cloth on her that night. He was okay with it because I always change the morning diaper. Miraculously her bottom was better by morning. So...needless to say... the cloth diapers are staying! I was using a good diaper rash ointment too, and I was putting it on many times a day while she was in disposables. Now, her bottom is clear and healthy. Todd just couldn't argue with that.

I am taking steps to make this as painless as possible for my Mr. Convenience! He is so great! I think once he gets use to the change he will be just fine! And it will save us lots of money in the long run. Yeah!

He even made me a drying rack that looks more like a coat tree, but I wanted it for towels, swim suits and diapers. He used almost all materials that we had in the garage. The only thing he purchased was a wooden dowel. We had a 4x4 post in the back yard that was just there...for no apparent reason. So, he cut it off, made a nice solid wooden base and drilled holes up each side for the dowels to fit into. It's pretty cool! He is so handy! He wasn't when we first me though! His handy skills have been learned since marriage.

So, I caught this new wave and it save my Ladybug's bottom!!! Have a great Sunday!

What's hidden in there?

2009-07-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog of a dear friend in Kansas City when I was hit with the urge to write my own thoughts and feelings about food; junk food in particular. It is so hard in this day and age to keep my children and family away from junk food. As one of my friends affectionately calls it, "No No Bad"! It never mattered to me much what was in a lollipop, cookie, brownie, or piece of gum. When it was offered, we all gladly, and excitedly accepted. After hours of research and hours of discussion with knowledgeable friends, Chiropractors, and others I finally decided that we needed a lifestyle change.

Gone are the days when I have a cupboard stocked with Dum Dum lollipops waiting to be handed out as a reward. Gone are the Little Debbie delights that we enjoyed. Gone are a lot of chemicals, additives, food coloring, artificial ingredients and flavorings and many other items that are almost always in prepacked food. We are not 100% perfect at this style of eating. We still struggle with some aspects of it, but for the most part we have changed.

I never used to cringe when friend would offer my children a piece of candy, but now I wish I could help them understand how bad it is for them. I wish I could help them to see what it can do to a child over time. Unfortunately I have found that most people do not want to hear it. Most people haven't had a wake-up call about their dietary habits. I get a lot of crazy looks from people when I decline a treat. Do I have something in my teeth, I wonder? No, I am just one of the many who are trying to make a lifestyle change.

Our society makes that so hard!

I have two children who are currently on a special diet. I spend a lot of time and money to make sure that they stay away from the foods that might cause them harm or cause them discomfort or illness. But how can you say no to those pleading little eyes? When I do say no, in public, it results in a lot of crying, whining and fit throwing. I try to avoid that at all costs.

I hate confrontation or to rock the boat. I think I had better get used to it now, though so that I can stand up for my children.

I can make homemade chocolate chip cookies for a treat and they are thrilled. Then I know what is in them. I can control that. But when they get candy or another treat that does not have those special ingredients to ensure their well-being, they get hyper crazy. They bounce off the walls. They can't concentrate. So, what is it doing to their little bodies? It is wreaking havoc in there. Some people think it is humorous, but I just can't find the humor.

Have you tasted a Little Debbie snack lately? They taste like shortening. Yuck. And I used to eat them all the time. Now, they make me feel sick.

I guess the moral to my story is...we should all be more understanding of each other and the choices we make. We shouldn't judge someone for their choices. We all have to make our own choices. I know I am thinking of a more perfect world, but I can always hope!!

Life Changes!

2009-07-08T11:28:00.000-07:00

There have been moments in my life when I felt strongly that change was a horrible thing. I didn’t like to see it coming…and when it hit without warning I was pretty devastated. I have learned over the years, that change is good. It brings about growth, both spiritual and temporal.

When I was younger my parents owned an ice cream shop. It was awesome. I was privileged enough to work at the shop. We carried some of the highest quality ice cream around. It was some awesome creamy goodness! That is how I became an Ice Cream “snob”! But then one day we had to close up shop for good. It was hard. We hadn’t owned the shop for long, but had become attached to it in many ways. The hardest part was losing the house that we grew up in.

At first our home was just a basement, with no home on top. It was a work in progress. When it rained the ceiling would leak in numerous places and we would have to put buckets underneath the drips. I remember once it was so bad that there was quite a bit of water all over the concrete floor. We had a blast running and sliding through the water…until we fell and hurt our bottoms! We may not have had a lot but we made do with what we had. It was a home. A home where our Mom kept it clean and tidy; a home where the gospel of Jesus Christ was taught; a home where love was shone one to another.

I don’t remember when, but we started building the house on top of the basement. My Dad, whom I followed around where ever he went, would go into the woods, cut down trees, strip their bark and haul them, on his shoulders, out of the woods. I remember pulling the bark from the fallen trees. Sometimes the brown bark would easily peel right off from the smooth wooden surface and other times it would take a lot of tugging to get it loose. It was hard to get the bark to come off around a knot in the tree or a spot where a limb had been.

I remember the logs being taken to a mill where two opposite sides where cut to make them flat surfaces. Then they were stacked on top of each other with a piece of insulation in between. Men from church came out and helped put the walls together. Once a log was stacked they would drive long spikes into them to hold them in place. I remember men straddling the partially built walls with hammers in their hands just swinging away.

First the main floor was built and completed and the rest remained unfinished on the inside. Over the years, little by little, the second floor was finished. Even though the look of the home had changed, the family inside was still doing the same things. We continued to learn about our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. I still followed my Dad around where ever he went. One of my favorite things to do with my Dad was walk in the woods. He taught me names of flowers, the different animals, how to take a good picture, and just how to enjoy my surrounding. I loved helping him mow that huge lawn. He would mow a large square and then hand the lawn mower over to me and I mowed the inside of the square. It was fun to watch that huge lawn gradually look short and tidy.

One of my fondest memories was going as a family into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. We were looking for the best one for our Savior. We would all bundle up in our handmade mittens, hats and scarves and drudge out through the white fluffy snow to find that perfect tree. We would cut down a tree that was hundreds of feet tall, or so it seemed! Then Dad would cut of the top and drag it back home.

So, our home was no longer ours. We had to say good bye. We didn’t have to leave the neighborhood that we loved and that was a blessing. It was hard at first to make that change. We moved across the street to our Grandmother’s house.
Gram had an attic that was such a neat place to go. You walked slowly up the steep old stairs into a dusty dark room. It had two windows, but it was still dark. The wood floor was covered in a thick layer of dust. There were crates and boxes full of books. There were shelves filled with books. There were trunks filled with treasures and there was a huge Bear skin hanging from the ceiling in the back corner. It was a treat to go up into Gram’s attic and look for a treasure. The creepiest part for me was that there were bats living in the bear skin. It was a neat place to be to get your imagination flowing.

This attic was now going to be our home. Yuck, you must be thinking! We took many hours to clean that attic. Everything was taken out. The floor boards were swept and re-swept. Then the construction began. I don’t remember much of it but I remember being excited for something new. The floor boards were taken out and cleaned and a new floor was put in. There were three bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a laundry room and a bathroom. The old attic floor boards were then cleaned and cut to the right length and put on the walls in the living room. They only went about half way up the wall.

So, things changed. We moved into our new home. But the same things were still being done. We were still taught the gospel of Jesus Christ in our home. We showed love one to another. We were still a family.

The next change that happened, that I can remember, is that I moved out with a friend. I was practicing my independence! That didn’t last long. A few months later, I met Todd and then moved back home to save up for a wedding. Many changes happened after Todd and I got married…but the same things were going on at home. Todd and I have tried to continue those same principles that we were taught in our home. The biggest change for me came when, after being married for almost 5 years, Todd approached me about moving to Missouri; his home state; his home; his friends. I prayed and prayed and wanted desperately to do what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I wanted to stay at home. It was safe and comfortable. I wanted to be near my family and friends. It was comfortable near them. Then my answer came. It was a hard answer and harder to share with my family. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I cried and pleaded with the Lord hoping that I had misunderstood, but the answer was still the same. We needed to move. More than that, we would be okay. So, we packed up our things. Todd went out to his new job in Missouri while I stayed to pack the rest of the house. I was pregnant with Max at the time and prayed for help daily. Heavenly Father blessed me immensely. I made it through.

Max was 2 weeks old, we had just celebrated Christmas, and we packed up the u-haul and moved to Missouri. I was miserable. I was okay for the first part because my Mom came with me. She was my link to home. Then she had to go back home to Maine and I had to learn to fend for myself.

Things changed!!! Again!

For about 8 months I hated Missouri. I hated where I was and I hated life. I was depressed. Then one day I realized that if I didn’t pull myself out of this slump I would be miserable forever. I didn’t want that. So, I embarked on making a change in my attitude. And…things changed yet again. After about 2 years of living in Missouri I began to see the good. My heart had changed. I had accepted that God wanted me and my little family here. We may have changed, our hearts may have changed, the location of our home may have changed but what was taught in our homes had not. We continue to teach our children daily to love our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. We continue to teach them about the gospel of Jesus Christ. We continue to try to show love to one another within our home.

So, a lot has changed over the years and my anxiety over change isn’t as bad as it used to be. I look at things differently now. We will go where the Lord wants and needs us to go. We will make a home where ever we are. We will find friends where ever we are.

Change is good. It may not be easy but it is good. It helps us grow. I know I am a better, stronger person because of all of the changes that have occurred in my life. I am so thankful for all of my many wonderful and numerous blessings. I am thankful to be where I am and to know that Heavenly Father wants me here and has a plan for me and my family.

Life changes and we need to change with it or get lost in the shuffle and could become depressed. I am so glad I pulled myself out of that depression and changed my heart.

Thinking positively!

2009-07-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

My sister, Juli, is her visiting. That in itself brings a smile to my face! She was able to come out for about 10 days this time. We are having a good time. Tomorrow we get to do our traditional shopping at Gordman's! I don't go unless we have family in town. It ends up being a treat for both of us!

I have had a not so nice experience this week with some internet fraud. It's amazing to me how dishonest people can be. I have started using cloth diapers, which Todd strongly dislikes. I have been purchasing them on a sight where you can get good used diapers to try at lower prices. Unfortunately a woman decided to scam some of us out of some money. So, now I am feeling very cautious and maybe a little paranoid about purchasing any more. I am having to file reports to the FBI and the IA local police. No fun!

But on a happier note...I really like these diapers. Todd on the other hand...does not. They can be messy but I am looking at the future when they save us money on diapers. And...I can re-sell them to someone who wants them when I am through with them. I see it as a win win situation. :) But...how do you convince Todd? He is very much a man of convenience when he can be. These cloth diapers are not necessarily convenient. I have to carry a wet bag (for dirty diapers), extra diapers (which are much thicker than disposables), and cloth wipes. Really, it isn't that much more. He just thinks that cleaning the dirty diapers is gross! Then there is a part of me that knows I will be losing some of my help if I continue with cloth. Todd is awesome at helping change diapers, among many other things. He had always been very helpful with the kids. So, if he doesn't like the cloth diapers he doesn't like to change them and...there goes some of my help. Oh...what to do...

This week we have gone to a Royals baseball game where they played against the Minnesota Twins. That was surprisingly fun! The boys really seemed to enjoy it. Max got tired after a while and wanted to go home, but did really well considering. The best part was that it was a really good game. TJ was cheering right along with everyone else. He was really into the game. It was so fun to see his excitement. And boy can he cheer loudly!!! I'm surprised he didn't lose his voice.

Today we went to the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead in Kansas. We have gone there one other time and the kids really enjoyed it. So I thought they would like it again, but the excitement apparently wore off. It just didn't hold their attention like it did the first time. We suggested the KC Zoo for Friday but Todd didn't like that idea, so we decided that we will go the movies instead. We never get to go to the movies anymore because it just costs too much. This will be a fun treat for the kids.

Well, I think I will go sit on the couch with Todd and relax for a few minutes before I head to bed. I'm keeping a smile on my face and a prayer in my heart!

Life!

2009-06-11T05:38:00.000-07:00

I have been spending a little more time online these last few days trying to search for the perfect cloth diaper. Some of you make think like Todd..."NO, I am NOT changing cloth diapers!" But with the new diapers they are almost like disposables. And they save hundreds of dollars. I am trying to find ones that Todd would be okay with. Wish me luck!!! There are soooo many!

It rained pretty hard last night. I used to be terrified of thunder storms until I had to condition myself to them in Missouri. In Maine I thought thunder storms were loud. HA! The first ones I heard in Missouri...I was terrified! They are so loud, they come fast and there is always a fear of tornadoes. I have learned to sleep through most heavy rains and some thunder too...but when it gets really loud...and the sirens start blaring...there is no sense in staying in bed. Last night was one of those nights. I had put Alyssa down for bed at about 8:30 or 9:00pm and I tiptoed downstairs to use the computer. Lyssa slept for about an hour and a half and then woke up. So, I nursed her back to sleep and came back down to the computer. This happened 2 more times before 11:30 and then the I went to bed. But...not long after going to bed the storm got bad and then the sirens went off...so Lyssy-loo was awake again. She woke again multiple times last night. This morning I am exhausted. Uugh! Lyssa has been sleeping for most of the night lately and waking only once. That has been so nice. I look forward to sleeping for 8 or 9 hours!!!

Oh whoa is me! My allergies, that I hoped would go away after pregnancy, are back again. Sneezing...without stop...nasal congestion...coughing...eyes running. OOOOOH YUCK! I had been doing really well and they weren't bad at all but Spring this year was so mild...I should have known it was coming. So I tried to increase my supplement that helps with allergies and Alyssa couldn't get enough milk. Ooops. It is a good thing it only lasts for the night! Then in the morning my milk was back...phew! So, I am back to using Claritin...but it doesn't completely fix the issues. I need to go get acupuncture done again so I can feel better! I LOVE acupuncture! It is so relaxing! LOL! I am getting so "crunchy"! At least more than I used to be!!!

Lyssy-loo is calling...

Love it!!

2009-06-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

I love when I learn new cleaning techniques. I had 5 pieces of baby clothing that had mildew stains on them. I was really sad too because they were really cute and she had only worn them once or twice. They had gotten stuck in with some wet towels and then got mildew on them. So I tried something new. Oxyclean. I had never used it before and was a little skeptical. I put the clothing in a large bowl with the mixture to soak. I let it soak all day and all night and then put it into the washing machine. All but one of them came completely clean! I was shocked and very pleased. I love it when it works! It makes my day! And saves me money I might have spent on new clothing.

Friendship

2009-05-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

I love good friends. We all need them. Heavenly Father put us here on earth to learn and grow. Who better to do that with than our girl friends. My best friend from high school texted me the other night when there was some high stress going on and she was upset. She asked me why men can't handle the crying...and why can't they just give you a hug and tell you it will be okay. GOOD QUESTION!!! We are just different beings. So I thought about it for a minute and then sent back a text. I told her that that is why we have women. We can sympathize, comfort, hug, cry along with each other and so forth. Men aren't gonna get it! Though sometimes they learn to just understand that that is how we are! So, we call our girl friends, our sisters, and we talk about our woes.

How does Heavenly Father answer our prayers? In so many instances they are answered by our friends, our sisters. When we need a pick me up, a shoulder to cry on, a chocolate fix or just a listening ear, He sends us friends. He sends us earthly Angels to take care of us.

I remember when I had my first miscarriage...
I had been praying for a sister in our ward. I didn't understand her and I wanted to be able to love her the way our Father in Heaven loves her. So I had been praying. Then I had a miscarriage. TJ was about 6 months old or so. I cried and was a little upset but not nearly as emotional as I thought I would be. I seemed to be handling it pretty well. It snowed, and in Maine when it snows, it really snows! There was a knock at the door. This sister, for whom I had been praying, stood there with red roses in her hand. I welcomed her in and we chatted a bit and then she offered to shovel my driveway. I declined the offer but we were able to talk a bit more. This sister had been through numerous miscarriages and she knew how I felt. She came to bring me a little joy. She was my earthly Angel that day.

I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. If it weren't for the church I wouldn't have all of my wonderful friends here in Missouri.

Before we moved from Maine to Missouri I had been praying for a friend who could understand me and who shared my beliefs. I prayed constantly for that friend. Little did I know that I would be sent to Missouri to find her! I have so many wonderful church friends now and know that this is where I needed to be.

Have you gotten a hug, phone call or just a quick pick-me-up from your friend, your sister, today?